While the monthly mortgage payment wasn't that much more than our then current rent, it was quite a commitment. (ARMs are nice that way.) It meant we were committed to Houston. It was a larger money liability than either of us had ever signed up for. And, although we didn't realize it at the time, it was a commitment to quite a bit of work. But from the following, we should have had a clue.
After we were "committed," it was fully ours but we hadn't moved in and hadn't yet arranged for any utilities, i.e., no heat, Houston had a freeze. The water wasn't shut off during the transfer. There were spectacular ice sculptures all over the city from the frozen spray of water from the broken water mains. One of the more remarkable of them, at least in size, was just across the street from our then apartment complex.
Marilyn was always attuned to the weather and would actually listen to the reports on the radio and TV. I have always tended to tune them out like commercials. So at her insistance, after dark with the temperature falling, by flashlight since there was also no electricity, I was wrapping the pipe that fed the water into the house with Marilyn holding a flashlight so I could see what I was doing. We then turned on a couple faucets in dribble mode to keep the water flowing. We didn't figure they would notice our little wasting of water with all the mains spewing it for no purpose around the city. Besides, while the water wasn't shut off, I don't know whether or not the account had been transferred yet. Our worst nightmare was that a pipe would burst in the attic and ruin both the ceiling and floor of the affected room and running water is supposed to be more resistant to freezing.
After making sure that our new house didn't wash away from pipes bursting, we had to clean, well, wash. Eventually we would replace all of the carpet and paint all of the walls, except for the walls with the mirrored glass tiles and the paneling in the family room, but for the two of us moving in, all we did was vacuum and wash. We also rented one of those "steam" cleaners for the carpet that was every where because vacuuming alone wouldn't have made the place livable. The previous owner was a chain smoker, which might have played a role in her demise. The house reeked. I don't remember the color of the steam cleaning water but I do remember the brownish yellow runoff and worse looking rinse water as we literally Formula 409'd every square inch of the walls and bathrooms.
Part of the do it yourself steam cleaning was to vacuum the floors thoroughly. It had red shag in the family room, kitchen and the bedroom off of the kitchen. Our vacuum cleaner wasn't powerful enough to suck up coins so I had to stop vacuuming frequently to find what was causing the rattle.
It was a lot of work to move into that house on the cheap but the purchase was truly a happy event. Now that we had a house, we could start working on a family. We did so with enthusiasm, no more Catholic approved birth control, after we first rested a bit.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Meeting by accident
Over a couple months of living at the apartment, I had observed several people exiting the complex using the inbound lane with no problem, while I dutifully did the right [lane] thing.
One day I noticed that Marilyn was already at the front of the right lane. So I whipped up beside her on her left. As I was waiting for her to notice me she decided to turn into traffic and instead turned into me.
She didn't let me know she was a "little" upset that I was where she didn't expect me to be until later. I was just surprised at the amount of the corner she cut, enough to hit my car.
Her car wasn't hurt at all. Mine had a dented front fender but nothing that impaired its driving. We each hopped out of our respective cars to look at the damage, hugged, and drove away.
I can only imagine the surprise and relief of the people in the line of cars behind us.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
One day I noticed that Marilyn was already at the front of the right lane. So I whipped up beside her on her left. As I was waiting for her to notice me she decided to turn into traffic and instead turned into me.
She didn't let me know she was a "little" upset that I was where she didn't expect me to be until later. I was just surprised at the amount of the corner she cut, enough to hit my car.
Her car wasn't hurt at all. Mine had a dented front fender but nothing that impaired its driving. We each hopped out of our respective cars to look at the damage, hugged, and drove away.
I can only imagine the surprise and relief of the people in the line of cars behind us.
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
"Collecting" state quarters
My mother started "collecting" bicentennial quarters soon after they started coming out. As they became scarce in circulation, all of her children started looking for them for her. One of the ways I would find them would be to gamble at the quarter slots when they were quarter slots rather than paper slots of a quarter value. One such trip, infrequent because Marilyn didn't like to gamble and I never seemed to get away on my own (which continues even now as I have yet to go gambling even with all this supposed time I have in my Life after Layoff), I found around $20 worth of bicentennial quarters.
Marilyn saw in this two opportunities: she knew that looking for specific quarters would slow my gambling down and pulling out more quarters would guarantee that I would leave the casinos with more money. So, she had me start "collecting" state quarters for her, which had yet another benefit: she got the money. She looked on the quarter fund as disaster money. It was part of her disaster preparation to maintain a little cash should some earthquake knock out electricity, phones, ... and we needed to buy something. The quarter "collection" served double duty.
Oh, when I say collection, I don't mean one of each. I mean every state quarter that made its way into my hands, made it into hers. I'm still "collecting" them.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Marilyn saw in this two opportunities: she knew that looking for specific quarters would slow my gambling down and pulling out more quarters would guarantee that I would leave the casinos with more money. So, she had me start "collecting" state quarters for her, which had yet another benefit: she got the money. She looked on the quarter fund as disaster money. It was part of her disaster preparation to maintain a little cash should some earthquake knock out electricity, phones, ... and we needed to buy something. The quarter "collection" served double duty.
Oh, when I say collection, I don't mean one of each. I mean every state quarter that made its way into my hands, made it into hers. I'm still "collecting" them.
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Seeing Texas: Laredo
When I was a young singer in one of the K-12 grades’ choruses, we learned several western themed songs. One had a line about being a cowboy on “the streets of Laredo.” The reality didn’t match up to the romanticized version I had created in my mind. I don’t think Marilyn had any such romantic image. She was a consummate realist but one who enjoyed seeing new places, even places she never intended to return to again.
Part of the problem was that we traveled south in Texas in the heat of the summer. I swear it was over 100 degrees even after the sun had set. My memories of Laredo are actually three, two of which are not even of Laredo.
The first thing we did was park and walk across the bridge into Nuevo Laredo and have lunch. Marilyn asked for water and I unconsciously took a sip but no more after I noticed the water worm in the glass. I pointed it out to her before she took a sip. It would be another 27 years before we would return to Mexico.
The only thing I remember about Laredo proper is our walking around the downtown before we went back to the car to find a restroom for each of us. We ultimately stopped in a hotel where the bathrooms were in the basement. In Laredo, the physics of heat rising and a lesser temperature underground, didn’t seem to apply. We did compare notes and I learned of her techniques for using the facilities in strange locals. I still don’t know how she did it without truly sitting down. But this experience was the start of something that turned into a running travel joke between us and perhaps a goal: writing a travelogue of our travels titled “whizzing through America.”
We camped further down the Texas side of the Rio Grande at a park that I may remember the name incorrectly but believed to be Zapata Park but it may have been all the way to Falcon State Park. It was a sandy park, certainly so in the camping area. It was also hot all night. With our discovered interest in facilities, we couldn’t help but note that this park just had the equivalent of Porta-potties, well used and stinking ones.
It may have been this trip that we were tooling by the King Ranch, a ranch the size of Rhode Island, going about 80 mph on a two lane, one each way, road with literally no traffic. As we zipped through one crossroad, I thought I noticed a snake. As soon as I could slow safely I turned around and confirmed that it was not only a snake but a coiled rattler. With the windows down we could definitely hear the rattling. We stayed safely in the car, did a U-turn around the snake, rolled the windows back up to use the air conditioning more effectively, and proceeded on our way, at speed. Texas was big and our time was limited. Besides, we were in a 280Z and gas was, relatively, cheap.
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Part of the problem was that we traveled south in Texas in the heat of the summer. I swear it was over 100 degrees even after the sun had set. My memories of Laredo are actually three, two of which are not even of Laredo.
The first thing we did was park and walk across the bridge into Nuevo Laredo and have lunch. Marilyn asked for water and I unconsciously took a sip but no more after I noticed the water worm in the glass. I pointed it out to her before she took a sip. It would be another 27 years before we would return to Mexico.
The only thing I remember about Laredo proper is our walking around the downtown before we went back to the car to find a restroom for each of us. We ultimately stopped in a hotel where the bathrooms were in the basement. In Laredo, the physics of heat rising and a lesser temperature underground, didn’t seem to apply. We did compare notes and I learned of her techniques for using the facilities in strange locals. I still don’t know how she did it without truly sitting down. But this experience was the start of something that turned into a running travel joke between us and perhaps a goal: writing a travelogue of our travels titled “whizzing through America.”
We camped further down the Texas side of the Rio Grande at a park that I may remember the name incorrectly but believed to be Zapata Park but it may have been all the way to Falcon State Park. It was a sandy park, certainly so in the camping area. It was also hot all night. With our discovered interest in facilities, we couldn’t help but note that this park just had the equivalent of Porta-potties, well used and stinking ones.
It may have been this trip that we were tooling by the King Ranch, a ranch the size of Rhode Island, going about 80 mph on a two lane, one each way, road with literally no traffic. As we zipped through one crossroad, I thought I noticed a snake. As soon as I could slow safely I turned around and confirmed that it was not only a snake but a coiled rattler. With the windows down we could definitely hear the rattling. We stayed safely in the car, did a U-turn around the snake, rolled the windows back up to use the air conditioning more effectively, and proceeded on our way, at speed. Texas was big and our time was limited. Besides, we were in a 280Z and gas was, relatively, cheap.
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Traveling Marilyn (Texas)
Even though I “captured” Marilyn with a fantastic traveling vacation, I didn’t truly understand how much she loved traveling until we moved to Houston, Texas. (Come to think of it, she did take me to a Canadian Rail Travelogue documentary at The Ohio State University. That was what prompted our long and unfulfilled desire to visit Banff.) She was an unabashed tour guide. She always loved to show her visitors the sights, many of which she had already scoped out, in person. She read tour books. She read the travel section in the newspaper. She watched all the travel shows on TV. Once based in our Houston apartment, we were able to put her research into practice.
She went to the tourist spots but also liked the out of the way spots. Our first year in Houston was spent at work during the week and on the road every weekend. It slowed down when we bought our first house and slowed even more when we started having children, but it never stopped. As our children got older, it picked up again. She loved the planning, the anticipation. She made all our trips a great experience.
Over the eight plus years we lived in Houston, went everywhere in and around Houston and Texas, except Big Bend and Amarillo. She always wanted to see Big Bend in the spring for all the desert flowers, but we were otherwise occupied: new house, new children, other uses for our limited vacation time.
We did see most of the rest of Texas, sometimes several times. Many of these are worthy of separate topics:
• Spots in and around Houston, including Bayou Bend, Gilley’s, San Jacinto Inn, Johnson Space Center, Galveston, …
• Mustang and Padre Island, along with Corpus Christi. (We returned regularly to Mustang Island.)
• San Antonio
• Austin
• Several camping and cabin excursions north, west, and south of Houston
As in many of our living places, if you could find a native Houstonian, Marilyn, and because of her I also, had visited more places and knew more about the local area than they did. If she did encounter an exception to that rule, she would usually pick their brains for recommendations on where to go and what to see, of course, she would also do this with her less traveled encounters. Everyone had been somewhere and she wanted to know about it.
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
She went to the tourist spots but also liked the out of the way spots. Our first year in Houston was spent at work during the week and on the road every weekend. It slowed down when we bought our first house and slowed even more when we started having children, but it never stopped. As our children got older, it picked up again. She loved the planning, the anticipation. She made all our trips a great experience.
Over the eight plus years we lived in Houston, went everywhere in and around Houston and Texas, except Big Bend and Amarillo. She always wanted to see Big Bend in the spring for all the desert flowers, but we were otherwise occupied: new house, new children, other uses for our limited vacation time.
We did see most of the rest of Texas, sometimes several times. Many of these are worthy of separate topics:
• Spots in and around Houston, including Bayou Bend, Gilley’s, San Jacinto Inn, Johnson Space Center, Galveston, …
• Mustang and Padre Island, along with Corpus Christi. (We returned regularly to Mustang Island.)
• San Antonio
• Austin
• Several camping and cabin excursions north, west, and south of Houston
As in many of our living places, if you could find a native Houstonian, Marilyn, and because of her I also, had visited more places and knew more about the local area than they did. If she did encounter an exception to that rule, she would usually pick their brains for recommendations on where to go and what to see, of course, she would also do this with her less traveled encounters. Everyone had been somewhere and she wanted to know about it.
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Our second Christmas and the origins of the "fun hunt"
I was just trying for something unique and interesting and while I couldn't find the nesting boxes that would have required multiple unwrapping, and wrapping, to start it out, it also ended up being a labor saving device, my labor. Besides, the boxes would have been better suited to something small, like jewelry, and my present was big. I was continuing a tradition begun in the previous year of gifting special cookware, a copper clad wok, and unbeknownst to me, starting a longer lasting tradition that I would take up again once our children could read. (Just as Marilyn much later let me know that gifting food related items was not the most romantic of choices, she kept the clues for some time, letting me know that she thought them part of the present.)
Indeed, a "fun hunt" is a series of clues written somewhat obscurely that ultimately lead to a present. It is much more fun with an audience so I was truly appreciative that my two then unmarried sisters could be present to witness and join in the laughing. It also helps with large, unwrapped, and less than perfect presents.
The rest of this topic is best told by pictures, but first let me set the stage.
We had been in Houston for less than a year, which meant that I had very little vacation accrued. (Marilyn was still doing temporary work and could have taken off any amount of time but chose to stay with me, which was to be expected but also a great present on its own.) Besides, we were in the process of looking for a house and may have already committed to one. So if lack of vacation time wouldn't have kept us from traveling, the lack of money certainly would have. Our small two bedroom apartment was a limited palette with which to paint a truly "fun hunt," but she appeared to have "fun," which was the whole purpose. (It also made up for a less than stirring present. She did use the wok and a later birthday gift of a Cuisinart Food Processor rather extensively but after she commented on them I moved on to other gifts, silk, that also kept on giving, but unfortunately which she used far fewer times.)
The fun hunt started with a simple Christmas card.
I can't remember the order but since it was a kitchen item, the kitchen was figured prominently. This time it was the utility drawer.
As small as it was, I still ran her all over and back and forth in the apartment. This picture was hung in our bedroom. (It was a gift from her best friend taken on the bike trip they took through Europe of a hostel they stayed at one of the nights.)
Back to the kitchen. At least the clue didn't have time to frost over but she did have to move some stuff.
And finally behind the toilet. She was a little surprised that I would use such a location and as a result had to be helped figuring out just where the final clue was.
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
The "burp" that meant "I love you!"
Some might think that the amount of time that I knew Marilyn before we got married was a short time, and it was. But it wasn't short because we should have delayed our wedding, it was short because we didn't meet each other sooner. Now I know that circumstances couldn't have been changed in any way to allow that earlier meeting and any change in circumstances would have more easily caused us to miss meeting each other at all.
But, amazingly in the short time between my profession of love and our marriage, I was involved as an usher in a wedding for a couple from work. Their wedding was a rather low key affair which is memorable to me for only two reasons: they wrote their own marriage vows, which I found to be particularly weak promising to remain married only "as long as [they] both shall love;" and an equally low key rehearsal dinner at a non-descript Columbus restaurant. (Indeed, I heard they were divorced shortly after their marriage.)
It was their rehearsal dinner that gave me insight into a Marilyn that I could only grow to love more and more each day. After some beer and I can't remember what to eat, I was leaning over to murmur, "I love you," in Marilyn's ear. Instead, I burped. Marilyn knew what I was trying to do and from then on she always interpreted my unintentional burps as an "I love you."
I always claimed that all of my burps were unintentional but she had a more discerning ear.
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Swimming in March
One of the features we truly liked at our new apartment was the swimming pool, particularly since we had it to ourselves. Having been married in the blizzard of '78 the warm weather in tropical Houston, by comparison, was meant to be enjoyed and we did. The people who did notice us in the pool gave us some rather strange looks but we didn't mind.
In addition to spending a lot of time holding each other. swinging each other around, and putting our feet together and shoving at the same time, Marilyn used some of the time to swim, her version of swimming. (Thinking back, this might be why she insisted that each of our children take true swimming lessons, with certifications at the end.) She mostly kept her head out of the water and kicked rather strongly, also at the top of the water. The splashing sounds her feet made reminded me of the stern-wheeler we had just seen in New Orleans, the Natchez.
I was a little indiscreet when I supplied the Natchez steam whistle to accompany her paddle wheel sounds, after all, she had her head out of the water and could hear me.
By the next year we were not swimming in March but were still wearing our winter coats like native Houstonians. Besides, we were no longer at the apartment and had not yet joined the Jewish Community Center. But we never used any other pool as playfully as we used the apartment pool our very first year in Houston.
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Rodeos in the “real” Texas
When we moved to Houston, it was already well into a boom that had brought many “foreigners” into it. While not impossible, you often had to ask several times to find the native Texan and even more to find a native Houstonian. But just outside of Houston was a remnant of the real Texas, a weekly rodeo, the rodeo that Deng Xiao Peng had been to just the year before.
While still at the hotel, we decided to sample the “real” Texas. I don’t think rodeos were Marilyn’s cup of tea but going at least once just had to be done. (She never did express any interest in the Huntsville prison rodeo, or any other rodeo and to my knowledge never watched any rodeo on TV.)
It had all the aspects that I now associate with rodeos but from my understanding was like a minor league. Individuals would accumulate points that would allow them to qualify for the more prestigious rodeos. Maybe a better analogy would be NASCAR or qualifying for the U.S. Open in golf.
But the thing that made it an unforgettable experience was one of the filler dialogs between the announcer and the clown about the clown’s recent marriage.
Basically the announcer congratulated the clown on his marriage and commented that he had heard that the new wife was a nagger. The clown affected not to understand so the announcer repeated the statement. This went on for a couple exchanges with the announcer finally almost yelling that he had heard the wife was a great big nagger. To which the clown said: “No, a little white girl about so high,” while gesturing with his hand about chest high.
Needless to say, we, recently married, liberal, almost Easterners, were shocked. But the rest of Texas, including some of my work experiences, which will not be written here, were substantially better and far less shocking. Perhaps I was taking the wrong perspective. Maybe it was a statement of how far we had come that a Texan would simply respond and not be offended by what was the implied suggestion.
Coming in a few topics will be a Family Tradition topic, namely an initiation that I, Marilyn, and our children went through. I have great pictures but do not want to give the initiation away as my children are recently married with spouses who have yet to be initiated. It's all volunteer and everyone who has gone through it has had fun, just not as much fun as the observers. It's still a great way to join the family.
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
While still at the hotel, we decided to sample the “real” Texas. I don’t think rodeos were Marilyn’s cup of tea but going at least once just had to be done. (She never did express any interest in the Huntsville prison rodeo, or any other rodeo and to my knowledge never watched any rodeo on TV.)
It had all the aspects that I now associate with rodeos but from my understanding was like a minor league. Individuals would accumulate points that would allow them to qualify for the more prestigious rodeos. Maybe a better analogy would be NASCAR or qualifying for the U.S. Open in golf.
But the thing that made it an unforgettable experience was one of the filler dialogs between the announcer and the clown about the clown’s recent marriage.
Basically the announcer congratulated the clown on his marriage and commented that he had heard that the new wife was a nagger. The clown affected not to understand so the announcer repeated the statement. This went on for a couple exchanges with the announcer finally almost yelling that he had heard the wife was a great big nagger. To which the clown said: “No, a little white girl about so high,” while gesturing with his hand about chest high.
Needless to say, we, recently married, liberal, almost Easterners, were shocked. But the rest of Texas, including some of my work experiences, which will not be written here, were substantially better and far less shocking. Perhaps I was taking the wrong perspective. Maybe it was a statement of how far we had come that a Texan would simply respond and not be offended by what was the implied suggestion.
Coming in a few topics will be a Family Tradition topic, namely an initiation that I, Marilyn, and our children went through. I have great pictures but do not want to give the initiation away as my children are recently married with spouses who have yet to be initiated. It's all volunteer and everyone who has gone through it has had fun, just not as much fun as the observers. It's still a great way to join the family.
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Is Pearl there?
This is really an apartment story although I don’t believe that we were unlucky to get the same phone number of the previous tenants. However, the phone calls when combined with the catalog deliveries make me think that something like that must have happened.
Soon after we got a phone every once in a while rather late into the evening, or night, we would get a call from an obviously inebriated man who in a slurred Texas drawl would ask, “Is Pearl there?” Now that doesn’t sound so bad and could have been some prankster writing on a bar’s bathroom wall, “For a good time, call Pearl [our new phone number].” The first few times we tried to tell this person he had the wrong number, which led to something that wasn’t exactly a conversation, certainly not a two-way exchange of information, but we learned quite a bit. While he never heard or believed us, if he did actually hear us, and I do mean us, he would talk with me as readily as Marilyn, he would want to come over. I think he thought I was Pearl’s pimp. I don’t believe he thought Marilyn was Pearl but she never said.
Now, getting a random call from a drunk who always asked for the same person and wanted to come over wouldn’t have been scary in and of itself because telephone numbers are seven digits and this guy couldn’t have known our address. But then there were the catalogs: “Frederick’s of Hollywood,” and other introductions to the marvelous world of sexy, well, kinky. (Although I did try to talk Marilyn into allowing me to buy a few items for her, which was hard to do while I was trying to convince her that I didn’t need to be titillated by a perverted catalog.) It took someone showing up at our door looking for a good time for us to put two and two together for a million. Could we have gotten the same phone number as the previous tenants? Was the guy calling for Pearl truly going to be able to show up? Was he one of the people who already had? If so, why did he keep calling?
We didn’t lose the Pearl calls until we moved into our house almost a year later. One of the great benefits of moving then was that we got a new phone number. We would have insisted on it if it weren’t automatic.
After the first time she answered the phone to the Pearl guy, I got the phone calls. We didn’t have an answering machine but Marilyn had an answering service. Since we were both working, I was home whenever she was.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Soon after we got a phone every once in a while rather late into the evening, or night, we would get a call from an obviously inebriated man who in a slurred Texas drawl would ask, “Is Pearl there?” Now that doesn’t sound so bad and could have been some prankster writing on a bar’s bathroom wall, “For a good time, call Pearl [our new phone number].” The first few times we tried to tell this person he had the wrong number, which led to something that wasn’t exactly a conversation, certainly not a two-way exchange of information, but we learned quite a bit. While he never heard or believed us, if he did actually hear us, and I do mean us, he would talk with me as readily as Marilyn, he would want to come over. I think he thought I was Pearl’s pimp. I don’t believe he thought Marilyn was Pearl but she never said.
Now, getting a random call from a drunk who always asked for the same person and wanted to come over wouldn’t have been scary in and of itself because telephone numbers are seven digits and this guy couldn’t have known our address. But then there were the catalogs: “Frederick’s of Hollywood,” and other introductions to the marvelous world of sexy, well, kinky. (Although I did try to talk Marilyn into allowing me to buy a few items for her, which was hard to do while I was trying to convince her that I didn’t need to be titillated by a perverted catalog.) It took someone showing up at our door looking for a good time for us to put two and two together for a million. Could we have gotten the same phone number as the previous tenants? Was the guy calling for Pearl truly going to be able to show up? Was he one of the people who already had? If so, why did he keep calling?
We didn’t lose the Pearl calls until we moved into our house almost a year later. One of the great benefits of moving then was that we got a new phone number. We would have insisted on it if it weren’t automatic.
After the first time she answered the phone to the Pearl guy, I got the phone calls. We didn’t have an answering machine but Marilyn had an answering service. Since we were both working, I was home whenever she was.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Our first (and only) Houston apartment
We had been living in hotels for three weeks but had finally found the “perfect” apartment. Well, we both knew it wasn’t perfect from the start but most of its imperfections took time to discover and are at least one, if not a few, topics of their own.
We had also been dining out at the best restaurants that a per diem would allow. It was our second honeymoon after all.
Well, we get that special apartment with the gold shag carpet, the narrow cul-de-sac galley kitchen, a breakfast nook for a dining room, bedrooms, two, whose windows looked out over the scenic parking lot, … You get the idea. The very first night we got the key, before the little bit of furniture we had could arrive, Marilyn just had to eat at our new place, a picnic on the carpet.
It wasn’t directly on the carpet but I forget what we put down to make it both feel like a picnic and our first meal in our new home. The food, of course, came from some restaurant but it had a much different feel. I remember the feeling but can’t for the life of me remember what we ate. It felt like another tumbler to the lock of our lives just clicked into place.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
We had also been dining out at the best restaurants that a per diem would allow. It was our second honeymoon after all.
Well, we get that special apartment with the gold shag carpet, the narrow cul-de-sac galley kitchen, a breakfast nook for a dining room, bedrooms, two, whose windows looked out over the scenic parking lot, … You get the idea. The very first night we got the key, before the little bit of furniture we had could arrive, Marilyn just had to eat at our new place, a picnic on the carpet.
It wasn’t directly on the carpet but I forget what we put down to make it both feel like a picnic and our first meal in our new home. The food, of course, came from some restaurant but it had a much different feel. I remember the feeling but can’t for the life of me remember what we ate. It felt like another tumbler to the lock of our lives just clicked into place.
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Crazy New Houstonians, Going to Zero
There are probably a lot of stories that I will eventually think of but the one that will be told here is Marilyn’s compulsion to finish the move to our new city. This didn’t involve finding living space, although we had just two weeks to do that. It didn’t involve trying the local cuisine, although we were doing that to a certain extent. (Marilyn never did fully embrace the “Cajun” spicy food imported from Louisiana or the spicy equivalent in Tex/Mex. Indeed even the native barbeque was not her food of choice. There will be a lot of food discussion opportunities throughout many of these topics.) It does involve going to a landmark that many cities have but one that I would have never thought of in a million years, going to the zero-zero address.
I can’t even remember the names of the Houston cross-streets that formed this landmark. But Marilyn insisted that we visit it. We were lucky that this address at least was in the Office Building portion rather than the middle of a slum. We were unlucky in finding parking, even though this was a weekend, not because of the crush of cars, but rather the dearth of open parking lots. I don’t know how far we ended up walking but at one point in our walk Marilyn wanted to cross diagonally across an intersection. She knew that meant she had to cross two streets rather than just cross the intersection itself, there was at least that much traffic to keep us safe, but she unfortunately insisted on crossing the street that the traffic light allowed immediately. Now, I don’t know whether Houston has any other street, intersection, or crosswalk, like this anywhere else. I can’t remember whether this was a temporary condition or one of intentional design but there was nothing to cross to.
In fact, there were signs, there was a fence, and an obvious lane of pending traffic that would pass in the lane we would have to be standing in once we arrived across that street. While Marilyn and I often held hands on many of our walks, we weren’t then. She was halfway across the street before I even realized what she was doing. I couldn’t think of any words that would have gotten her to realize her error in time so I ran out and grabbed her arm. She made to shake it off and got a real “I’ll show them” look on her face when she finally heard me say, “We can’t cross here.”
I still had to point out the signs and the lack of anyplace to stand, safely, before she would move back to the sidewalk we had left. We did get back, obviously.
It was then I realized just how stubborn she was. While I never did use this example of her stubbornness, I knew that she was far more stubborn than I was or ever could be. She always won true tests of wills but we rarely had them on the important things.
There is a good side to stubbornness and Marilyn had it—determination to spare.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
I can’t even remember the names of the Houston cross-streets that formed this landmark. But Marilyn insisted that we visit it. We were lucky that this address at least was in the Office Building portion rather than the middle of a slum. We were unlucky in finding parking, even though this was a weekend, not because of the crush of cars, but rather the dearth of open parking lots. I don’t know how far we ended up walking but at one point in our walk Marilyn wanted to cross diagonally across an intersection. She knew that meant she had to cross two streets rather than just cross the intersection itself, there was at least that much traffic to keep us safe, but she unfortunately insisted on crossing the street that the traffic light allowed immediately. Now, I don’t know whether Houston has any other street, intersection, or crosswalk, like this anywhere else. I can’t remember whether this was a temporary condition or one of intentional design but there was nothing to cross to.
In fact, there were signs, there was a fence, and an obvious lane of pending traffic that would pass in the lane we would have to be standing in once we arrived across that street. While Marilyn and I often held hands on many of our walks, we weren’t then. She was halfway across the street before I even realized what she was doing. I couldn’t think of any words that would have gotten her to realize her error in time so I ran out and grabbed her arm. She made to shake it off and got a real “I’ll show them” look on her face when she finally heard me say, “We can’t cross here.”
I still had to point out the signs and the lack of anyplace to stand, safely, before she would move back to the sidewalk we had left. We did get back, obviously.
It was then I realized just how stubborn she was. While I never did use this example of her stubbornness, I knew that she was far more stubborn than I was or ever could be. She always won true tests of wills but we rarely had them on the important things.
There is a good side to stubbornness and Marilyn had it—determination to spare.
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Traveling to a new job, our second honeymoon
While I didn’t have a single interview until much later in Phoenix, covered in another topic, the attempt put my resume’ on the market and corporations in Houston were hiring. (The interview and associated stories are not part of my memories of Marilyn so if covered at all will have to be in a different forum.) Since Houston was on the way to Phoenix we decided to take the job. So the middle of February saw us on the road, again traveling to our married life in a new city.
I would like to be able to say that we gave each other longing gazes, and sweet-talked the entire trip but what actually occurred is that we drove two cars. There being two of us, and two cars, meant that we couldn’t even see each other when we were “on the road” but we made up for it most of the time when we stopped.
And stop we did. We made side trips to several places. I’ve selected a few of the more memorable for greater detail below. Since I wasn’t then and haven’t kept a journal what I’m leaving out may not be all that much but you wouldn’t know that if I didn’t tell you.
In Tennessee we discovered that Jack Daniels was distilled in a dry county. But they did let us smell the well alcohol laden vent gasses in our tour.
We stayed overnight in Nashville with a visit to the Grand Ol Opry.
Our next overnight stay was in the bad side, well the less affluent side of Birmingham. We would remark on this as our first of a trend later when we knew it for a trend. Many of the places we visited inevitably involved some tour of the more scenic side of the town, a nice looking road would be a dead end into the area dump or sewage treatment plant. Although to the best of my recall we never again tried to sleep in the scenic area.
Then came New Orleans. We stayed there several nights. While a lot of what we did involved truly good food, including the beans and rice at Hobo Billy’s and Bananas Foster at Brennan’s, we also visited Preservation Hall (I didn’t understand why anyone would want to preserve the hall but preserving the jazz was great.), walked on the waterfront, looked in on all the bars, watched people, took a ride on the Charles Street trolley, had our faces immortalized with a characterization (My upwardly growing eyebrows were made into devilish horns that was obvious as to the devilment in mind while Marilyn was characterized as an angel.), and my first introduction into shopping.
Up until that time, I had always thought that the purpose of shopping was to find something you wanted to buy. Marilyn nicely limited her introduction of shopping as an end in itself so I didn’t drop but I got the message. It was much later, and may make a separate topic in and of itself, that I heard the dreaded combination: “Since we are here, do you mind if I go in [to this store]?” and “Why don’t you come in and keep me company?”
Finally we made it to Houston and for two weeks were put up in a hotel at the Greenway Plaza. The fun we had living within walking distance of my work…
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
I would like to be able to say that we gave each other longing gazes, and sweet-talked the entire trip but what actually occurred is that we drove two cars. There being two of us, and two cars, meant that we couldn’t even see each other when we were “on the road” but we made up for it most of the time when we stopped.
And stop we did. We made side trips to several places. I’ve selected a few of the more memorable for greater detail below. Since I wasn’t then and haven’t kept a journal what I’m leaving out may not be all that much but you wouldn’t know that if I didn’t tell you.
In Tennessee we discovered that Jack Daniels was distilled in a dry county. But they did let us smell the well alcohol laden vent gasses in our tour.
We stayed overnight in Nashville with a visit to the Grand Ol Opry.
Our next overnight stay was in the bad side, well the less affluent side of Birmingham. We would remark on this as our first of a trend later when we knew it for a trend. Many of the places we visited inevitably involved some tour of the more scenic side of the town, a nice looking road would be a dead end into the area dump or sewage treatment plant. Although to the best of my recall we never again tried to sleep in the scenic area.
Then came New Orleans. We stayed there several nights. While a lot of what we did involved truly good food, including the beans and rice at Hobo Billy’s and Bananas Foster at Brennan’s, we also visited Preservation Hall (I didn’t understand why anyone would want to preserve the hall but preserving the jazz was great.), walked on the waterfront, looked in on all the bars, watched people, took a ride on the Charles Street trolley, had our faces immortalized with a characterization (My upwardly growing eyebrows were made into devilish horns that was obvious as to the devilment in mind while Marilyn was characterized as an angel.), and my first introduction into shopping.
Up until that time, I had always thought that the purpose of shopping was to find something you wanted to buy. Marilyn nicely limited her introduction of shopping as an end in itself so I didn’t drop but I got the message. It was much later, and may make a separate topic in and of itself, that I heard the dreaded combination: “Since we are here, do you mind if I go in [to this store]?” and “Why don’t you come in and keep me company?”
Finally we made it to Houston and for two weeks were put up in a hotel at the Greenway Plaza. The fun we had living within walking distance of my work…
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
The Ceremony, Wedding Night, and Reception
All of our Granville Inn plans, well most of them, were undone by the weather. One of our claims to fame is making the most out of a bad situation. Now I describe it in a headline format: “State Shuts Down for Monnett-Westbrook Wedding.” It wasn’t that hard for me, my only consequences beyond it being cold, were calling the Granville Inn, getting them to agree to a reception only event a week later at no deposit cost, and not having my side of the family, parents nor sisters, at our ceremony.
The state, Ohio, was shut down for three days because of the blizzard of ’78 and not because of our wedding. We decided to go ahead and get married as scheduled even though it had to be at a completely different venue, one we could violate the no non-essential travel rule to get to without likely arrest. That venue happened to be Marilyn’s parent’s place as it had the largest contingent of attendees, including Marilyn, already there. I didn’t have to do anything to get it prepared and so cannot fully appreciate or describe the scramble they must have gone through. All I had to do was just show up and that is about the extent of my memory as well. I was and still am walking on air.
Thank goodness we have some poor quality pictures to remind me. They even scrambled together a multilayer wedding cake. This allowed us to practice our cake smashing for the official reception, with my family in attendance, the week later. We needed the practice. We both had too small of pieces and were far too polite, not only out of concern for each other but also where the crumbs would have gone, on her mother’s light carpet. 
(Marilyn let me be dainty with my second piece at the Granville Inn the week later before she fully crammed her oversized piece onto my face only partially hitting my large mouth. Since I am writing this I can exaggerate, regardless of how little.)
After the ceremony and after sharing cake and drinks with the guests who could make it, we got ready for our wedding night. You have to remember that a blizzard is snow and wind accompanied with a rapid drop in temperature to fully appreciate our wedding night. 
First, Marilyn dressed for the weather in fancy red underwear, long johns, and we went to a local Marriott rather than my cold apartment. (There were actual icicles inside the apartment.) It turned out that Marriott didn’t have the icicle problem because they kept the humidity down by reducing the interior temperature to close to freezing. This also meant that whatever food they served in their restaurant arrived cold regardless of how high they heated it to achieve the partial cooking.
But we didn’t care. We were married. And whatever else the cold weather may have ruined, it didn’t ruin our night. Let me just say that it was great cuddling weather.Our party at the official reception was too small to reserve the entire restaurant but I truly don’t remember if there were any other diners. Marilyn and I certainly felt like we had just gotten married. Our “honeymoon” period wouldn’t end for quite a while, if indeed it ever did, but definitely wasn’t over in just one week. The nicest thing about being married was that now if she fell asleep on me, I didn’t have to wake her up so she could go back to her place. Her place was now my place. I always enjoyed watching her sleep but probably not as much as she enjoyed sleeping. (But, I digress.)
In addition to not remembering other diners, I don’t remember what we ate besides the cake for dessert. That was good so we saved the top to be consumed on our first anniversary, also the subject of another topic.---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Monday, October 13, 2008
The Whirlwind to get Married
Once we decided to get married, we wanted to do it as quickly as possible but not the fastest way by eloping. But we had other mundane things to take care of like an engagement ring, wedding bands, a blood test, a venue, a minister, … and we wanted it all done by January 14th. (Since our anniversary is on January 28th, you know that it took almost twice as long as we had hoped.)
Some things happened quickly. She fell in love with a unique engagement ring designed for a Diamond Cellar employee in Columbus, called the Betty. So my shopping style combined with her amazingly fast agreement settled that quickly.
The blood test was another trial. I don’t think that they even do it any more. But they did for us. It turned out that Marilyn couldn’t stand the sight of needles, well needles entering her. She was fine watching the needle draw my blood.
It was probably the venue that drove the date more than anything else. I don’t know how we found it or knew of it, but the Granville Inn had a perfect long room with an organ and adjacent restaurant with a chef who specialized in wedding cakes. The earliest this could come together was the 28th.
The only problem, which turned out for other reasons not to be a problem because of a much larger one, was Marilyn’s choice of music. After not really paying attention to music that I didn’t create, vocally, for much of my youth, I really fell in love with the Beatles. Marilyn wanted “Feelings” and “Yesterday” played at our wedding. After our talk, which included me saying such things as: “I think they are too sad.” “Have you ever really listened to the words?” And the real killer, “Do you still have feelings for Jim?” She told me that she just liked the music and wasn’t trying to convey any message. I liked the music too but was still concerned about the implied message. If she hadn't asked about those songs by name in my presence, I don't think I would have noticed the music on the day.
It all became moot as our best-laid plans were about to be laid low by the weather.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Some things happened quickly. She fell in love with a unique engagement ring designed for a Diamond Cellar employee in Columbus, called the Betty. So my shopping style combined with her amazingly fast agreement settled that quickly.
The blood test was another trial. I don’t think that they even do it any more. But they did for us. It turned out that Marilyn couldn’t stand the sight of needles, well needles entering her. She was fine watching the needle draw my blood.
It was probably the venue that drove the date more than anything else. I don’t know how we found it or knew of it, but the Granville Inn had a perfect long room with an organ and adjacent restaurant with a chef who specialized in wedding cakes. The earliest this could come together was the 28th.
The only problem, which turned out for other reasons not to be a problem because of a much larger one, was Marilyn’s choice of music. After not really paying attention to music that I didn’t create, vocally, for much of my youth, I really fell in love with the Beatles. Marilyn wanted “Feelings” and “Yesterday” played at our wedding. After our talk, which included me saying such things as: “I think they are too sad.” “Have you ever really listened to the words?” And the real killer, “Do you still have feelings for Jim?” She told me that she just liked the music and wasn’t trying to convey any message. I liked the music too but was still concerned about the implied message. If she hadn't asked about those songs by name in my presence, I don't think I would have noticed the music on the day.
It all became moot as our best-laid plans were about to be laid low by the weather.
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Our first Christmas, where she accepts
After the fantastic adventure vacation, I thought visiting my family for Christmas would be anti-climatic but in many ways was more stressful, not because of my family but because of my gift. 
It had to be something she would like and since she hadn’t said yes, it couldn’t be too intimate, besides, I had already treated her to some Indian jewelry while in Arizona. Eventually I settled on high quality copper clad cookware. I can’t remember whether there was only the omelet pan and the skillet but I know the wok came later. I did give her mother some jewelry, which Marilyn didn’t know about until after she said yes but was a good back up plan, even though it wasn’t planned.
I was sensitive to at least one aspect of putting my best foot forward, I didn’t take her in the back way like my Mother did to my Father the first time he met her parents. I don’t know whether my Mother had already said yes or whether my Father had even asked yet but I knew Marilyn was a city gal and would probably not be impressed by an extra 30 miles or so of winding mostly dirt roads. It would have made the farm that much further into the wilderness. Besides, the mile lane with a portion through the creek was wild enough.
Needless to say, Marilyn fit right in. She even held my oldest sister’s first born without too much of the deer-in-the-headlight look.
It wasn’t until she was driving the two of us away that she finally said yes. My memory of whatever was said before the yes is gone. She said, “Yes!” She claimed that she wasn’t sure I asked her the first time and wasn’t going to give me an answer anyway until she had met my family. If I had known that this was the condition I would have been even more stressed.
One of the highlights of my parents' place was and is the food. I was thinner then because I was living on love.
The reason Marilyn was driving, I found out on the way to my parents that she suffered from motion sickness that is aggravated by being a passenger and alleviated by the focus allowed by driving. Letting her drive my 280Z was probably the icing on the cake to getting the right answer but I really didn’t do it for that reason. After we were married, I let her drive it quite often for other reasons, but those are other stories.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
It had to be something she would like and since she hadn’t said yes, it couldn’t be too intimate, besides, I had already treated her to some Indian jewelry while in Arizona. Eventually I settled on high quality copper clad cookware. I can’t remember whether there was only the omelet pan and the skillet but I know the wok came later. I did give her mother some jewelry, which Marilyn didn’t know about until after she said yes but was a good back up plan, even though it wasn’t planned.I was sensitive to at least one aspect of putting my best foot forward, I didn’t take her in the back way like my Mother did to my Father the first time he met her parents. I don’t know whether my Mother had already said yes or whether my Father had even asked yet but I knew Marilyn was a city gal and would probably not be impressed by an extra 30 miles or so of winding mostly dirt roads. It would have made the farm that much further into the wilderness. Besides, the mile lane with a portion through the creek was wild enough.
Needless to say, Marilyn fit right in. She even held my oldest sister’s first born without too much of the deer-in-the-headlight look. It wasn’t until she was driving the two of us away that she finally said yes. My memory of whatever was said before the yes is gone. She said, “Yes!” She claimed that she wasn’t sure I asked her the first time and wasn’t going to give me an answer anyway until she had met my family. If I had known that this was the condition I would have been even more stressed.
One of the highlights of my parents' place was and is the food. I was thinner then because I was living on love.The reason Marilyn was driving, I found out on the way to my parents that she suffered from motion sickness that is aggravated by being a passenger and alleviated by the focus allowed by driving. Letting her drive my 280Z was probably the icing on the cake to getting the right answer but I really didn’t do it for that reason. After we were married, I let her drive it quite often for other reasons, but those are other stories.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Pre-wedding honeymoon: Adventures
Marilyn loved Phoenix. She took me to parks, desert museums, … , any and everything outdoors. We went over to the Lost Dutchman Mine Mountains. We hiked up Squaw Peak. While there, I went up on top of a rock that actually looked to be the highpoint, the peak, and she took my picture. When I offered to return the favor, she declined saying that such places were not for her.Imagine my surprise when at the Grand Canyon, a place that at that time had no fences and the edge gave me vertigo, she went right out to the edge and looked down.
Our big adventure at the Grand Canyon was the one day, all day mule ride about two thirds of the down and back. Marilyn rode Shirley and I rode Shug. Now, these mules cannot be ridden side by side. They each had their special place in the long line with mine more toward the rear and Marilyn’s closer to the front. Furthermore, mule’s feet are not hard like a horse’s so every one of them walked on the softest part of the trail, the part with the most easily displaced soil, the outside edge. While I saw people leaning back toward the cliff side and people sitting very still and straight, I didn’t see anyone leaning out to look down, probably because you didn’t have to 
do so to actually see the bottom some thousands of feet below the edge your mule was on. Once we got down off the cliff onto the flatter stretch of trail another unique mule trait was on display: They all stopped one at a time at the same place and went to the bathroom. This led to a bottleneck that backed up the line and created gaps between mules that lasted until we stopped. Of course no mule would walk any faster to close the gap. They each knew where they were going and didn’t see any reason to use any more energy than they had to to get there.One final mule story: A couple of the mules had diarrhea.
This resulted in a green stream that shot out several feet behind them. When I first saw this I was grateful that I was at least two mules back from the problem mule and then I thought to check and make sure that Marilyn’s mule was also properly placed. I didn’t want this adventure to turn out to be a “shitty” one. That wouldn’t have helped the long-term plans that I was just forming.Our drive to Crested Butte and skiing was adventure free. (The return trip wasn’t, but I’ll get into that later.)
This was my first time skiing so while Marilyn got individual intermediate instruction I joined the group of mostly small kids and learned how to fall and get back up. We did it enough that I was sore and exhausted and wondering whether or not this skiing thing was truly fun. When I was finally released from the training and we went out on nothing more dangerous than intermediate, I was glad for the lessons because I certainly put them to good use. Even Marilyn fell a couple of times but mostly she was waiting for me down the slope. Once when I caught up to her we both waited as my large knit cap, made overly large by the massive amounts of water it had absorbed from earlier falls, fell off well up slope. A nice skier, who didn’t fall, stopped precisely at the hat and easily brought it to me, nicely but unthreateningly showing me up.It was on the last day on the very last run that I fell in love with skiing. We had already decided to go down the longer beginner slope for our last run. With the snow, it turned into a paradise. By this time I was parallel skiing and the limited visibility actually improved my technique because I wasn’t thinking about not falling, I was just enjoying. Of course, watching Marilyn skiing right in front of me was a great view, a great incentive, and most likely the primary source of my enjoyment.
The drive back to Phoenix began that very day. Remember we were a couple hundred miles further away than we had originally planned to be plus it was snowing. So, at the outset of our return I bought chains for the rental car in Gunnison. We discovered later that we were the last car to make it up the Million Dollar Highway before they closed the gates due to treacherous winds and snow. With our chains and a prudent speed we not only made it up the mountain slope but over the black ice that occurred later on a thankfully straight stretch of road. Did I mention that by this time it was full dark?---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Pre-wedding honeymoon: Dining (where I ask her to marry me)
After a number of dates consisting mostly of dining and drinking, the opportunities for special things to do in Columbus Ohio were limited, I decided to create that special opportunity. She had already confided to me that this time in Columbus was just a stop over for her true destination of Phoenix. So I talked her into joining me for a grand vacation whose first portion would be job hunting in Phoenix.
While I also put my “resume” on the market, Marilyn was the only one who had any actual interviews. After a couple days of that, the real vacation portion began, which is really an unfair characterization. Marilyn took me all over Phoenix. 
We visited desert museums, Frank Lloyd Wright houses, and even hiked up 
Squaw Peak.
We had reservations at the Grand Canyon and at Purgatory, a ski resort in Southwestern Colorado, and we did some fantastic things, which I will get to in another entry, but even here a lot of my memories are of our dining (and drinking). They were special.
The first special place was at L’Orangerie, The Orange Room, at the Arizona Biltmore. While I didn’t realize it at the time, her menu didn’t have any prices. (Later I would learn how great this actually was as she always took special care to be “reasonable.”) While the food was good, the highlight of the evening was the after dinner drink, a brandy laced coffee that the server flamed and poured between cups that were at least three feet apart without spilling a drop. We didn’t know how it would be served. We were just intrigued by the name, Café Xocatilla. We also went to the top of the Hyatt and rotated around showing a cityscape that could actually be seen as the typical high-rise construction hadn’t yet blocked the views.
At the Grand Canyon we had such great service that we both remembered the server’s name, George. It was here that we both ate snails for the first time. Marilyn discreetly pointed out that Escargot was snail just so I didn’t embarrass myself when they came out. And, they did come out in their shells so hot that we needed the little snail tongs and little snail fork and lots of cooling before we could eat them, at least the second one did. The best thing about orders of snails are that they come they have more butter than snail. (The snails were a compromise to avoid oysters, particularly raw oysters. They came later and are part of another story.)
On the way to skiing, after the Grand Canyon, we stopped at a roadside diner. Marilyn hadn’t gotten to the stage of “I’ll just have some of yours,” and we were both pretty hungry so we ordered two of what we thought was a taco, one for each of us. The waiter asked us if we were sure and we should have taken that for the clue it was. What came out wasn’t two tacos but rather two piled high 10-inch pizzas. Needless to say we didn’t eat all of it, in fact, we ate no more than half of each. Since we were on the road, we didn’t even take a doggy bag.
The ski resort where we had reservations didn’t have snow so we were able to make reservations at Crested Butte, half a state away by crow and further by roads that had to skirt mountains. But if this hadn’t happened, we would have missed two other great dining experiences and maybe a proposal. (The ski resort didn’t return my deposit.)
On the way to Crested Butte we passed through several great little towns. One, either Ouray or Silverton only had one place to eat but that eating was, again, memorable. The trout we both ordered was perfectly done and tasted great, however, Marilyn sent hers back for some surgery. Both of them came out with their heads left on. Marilyn didn’t mind my fish staring at me, but refused to eat something she felt was staring at her.
Then finally in Crested Butte, we ate at the Alpen Haus, more than once. Not only was the food good, but also this early in the ski season there weren’t that many other options. Of course, after the first time, we didn’t want to risk finding something worse. It was the second time dining there that I “popped” the question. Maybe I wasn’t as clear as I should have been or maybe it was the two bottles of wine, but not only did she not say yes, not only did she not say no, and not only did she not say maybe or I’ll think about it or ask me if I had truly just asked her to marry me, she didn’t say anything. In point of fact I don’t remember using the exact words, “Will you marry me?” but I do remember telling her that I couldn’t see spending the rest of my life with anyone but her. I didn’t press because at least it wasn’t “no.” (She obviously did answer eventually, but that is also another story.)
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
While I also put my “resume” on the market, Marilyn was the only one who had any actual interviews. After a couple days of that, the real vacation portion began, which is really an unfair characterization. Marilyn took me all over Phoenix. 
We visited desert museums, Frank Lloyd Wright houses, and even hiked up 
Squaw Peak.We had reservations at the Grand Canyon and at Purgatory, a ski resort in Southwestern Colorado, and we did some fantastic things, which I will get to in another entry, but even here a lot of my memories are of our dining (and drinking). They were special.
The first special place was at L’Orangerie, The Orange Room, at the Arizona Biltmore. While I didn’t realize it at the time, her menu didn’t have any prices. (Later I would learn how great this actually was as she always took special care to be “reasonable.”) While the food was good, the highlight of the evening was the after dinner drink, a brandy laced coffee that the server flamed and poured between cups that were at least three feet apart without spilling a drop. We didn’t know how it would be served. We were just intrigued by the name, Café Xocatilla. We also went to the top of the Hyatt and rotated around showing a cityscape that could actually be seen as the typical high-rise construction hadn’t yet blocked the views.
At the Grand Canyon we had such great service that we both remembered the server’s name, George. It was here that we both ate snails for the first time. Marilyn discreetly pointed out that Escargot was snail just so I didn’t embarrass myself when they came out. And, they did come out in their shells so hot that we needed the little snail tongs and little snail fork and lots of cooling before we could eat them, at least the second one did. The best thing about orders of snails are that they come they have more butter than snail. (The snails were a compromise to avoid oysters, particularly raw oysters. They came later and are part of another story.)
On the way to skiing, after the Grand Canyon, we stopped at a roadside diner. Marilyn hadn’t gotten to the stage of “I’ll just have some of yours,” and we were both pretty hungry so we ordered two of what we thought was a taco, one for each of us. The waiter asked us if we were sure and we should have taken that for the clue it was. What came out wasn’t two tacos but rather two piled high 10-inch pizzas. Needless to say we didn’t eat all of it, in fact, we ate no more than half of each. Since we were on the road, we didn’t even take a doggy bag.
The ski resort where we had reservations didn’t have snow so we were able to make reservations at Crested Butte, half a state away by crow and further by roads that had to skirt mountains. But if this hadn’t happened, we would have missed two other great dining experiences and maybe a proposal. (The ski resort didn’t return my deposit.)
On the way to Crested Butte we passed through several great little towns. One, either Ouray or Silverton only had one place to eat but that eating was, again, memorable. The trout we both ordered was perfectly done and tasted great, however, Marilyn sent hers back for some surgery. Both of them came out with their heads left on. Marilyn didn’t mind my fish staring at me, but refused to eat something she felt was staring at her.
Then finally in Crested Butte, we ate at the Alpen Haus, more than once. Not only was the food good, but also this early in the ski season there weren’t that many other options. Of course, after the first time, we didn’t want to risk finding something worse. It was the second time dining there that I “popped” the question. Maybe I wasn’t as clear as I should have been or maybe it was the two bottles of wine, but not only did she not say yes, not only did she not say no, and not only did she not say maybe or I’ll think about it or ask me if I had truly just asked her to marry me, she didn’t say anything. In point of fact I don’t remember using the exact words, “Will you marry me?” but I do remember telling her that I couldn’t see spending the rest of my life with anyone but her. I didn’t press because at least it wasn’t “no.” (She obviously did answer eventually, but that is also another story.)
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
The Wringing of the Rags, Washcloths
One of Marilyn’s bathroom rules was that I had to “wring” out the washcloth after I used it to wash my face. It took a while for me to learn this rule because we really didn’t get up at the same time. So, she would often just ask.
There was a practical reason for her rule, a drier rag soured more slowly.
My contention was that my squeeze got out more than enough water so I didn’t need to “wring.”
One time I made it into the bathroom after she had “wrung” out the washcloth. I proceeded to squeeze it and show her how much more water my squeeze got out than her “wring.” She was not impressed. Her contention was that my “wring” would certainly take out even more water.
I shut up and am “wringing” to this very day. After all, if I hadn’t stopped when I did, I would’ve gotten the chore of “wringing” out her washcloths.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
There was a practical reason for her rule, a drier rag soured more slowly.
My contention was that my squeeze got out more than enough water so I didn’t need to “wring.”
One time I made it into the bathroom after she had “wrung” out the washcloth. I proceeded to squeeze it and show her how much more water my squeeze got out than her “wring.” She was not impressed. Her contention was that my “wring” would certainly take out even more water.
I shut up and am “wringing” to this very day. After all, if I hadn’t stopped when I did, I would’ve gotten the chore of “wringing” out her washcloths.
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Invitation to a "Formal Affair"
After the “kiss” and a couple real dates, I got a card in the mail that sent my spirits soaring. There was one word that jumped off the card as soon as I opened it: “affair.”
Actually my spirits were soaring for other reasons. She liked being with me and had sent me a card to tell me so. It was an invitation to go for a walk in a local Columbus park, Blendon Woods, and do some leaf crunching. The “affair” was just her humor characterizing the walk and leaf crunching in a parenthetical expression as a “real formal affair.”
As you will read in future entries, we did a lot of walking in our time together and made our children join in by not giving them an option. Walking in woods and crunching leaves was always special, probably, no most definitely, because of this very first time and the special invitation. I kept it for years and hope it is still around in some box or folder.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Actually my spirits were soaring for other reasons. She liked being with me and had sent me a card to tell me so. It was an invitation to go for a walk in a local Columbus park, Blendon Woods, and do some leaf crunching. The “affair” was just her humor characterizing the walk and leaf crunching in a parenthetical expression as a “real formal affair.”
As you will read in future entries, we did a lot of walking in our time together and made our children join in by not giving them an option. Walking in woods and crunching leaves was always special, probably, no most definitely, because of this very first time and the special invitation. I kept it for years and hope it is still around in some box or folder.
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Dating: Our first "real" date
With Marilyn’s return to a month long temping assignment at Xerox I was able to use our connection from T. G. I. Friday’s to ask her out. We went to lunch a couple of times and then the big date: dinner and a movie.
The dinner was late because the only showing of the movie we agreed to see started at midnight. It was somewhat a cult showing, much like the Rocky Horror Picture Show" and an event like the "Sound of Music" would achieve later, except no one dressed up the parts. It was "Fantasia," the perfect combination culture, and, well, lack of culture. I hadn’t really thought it out but it was the perfect attempt to appeal to something of her interest, whatever that may have been. The classical music should have appealed to her sophistication and the cartoon should have appealed to her inner child.
As it was, late on a workday, a long day, actually into the next day, she fell asleep on me. I literally mean this in all ways. My arm was supporting her head. Even then she had a definite sleeping pattern to her breathing, not quite a snore, that I would forever name from that night on as sleep breathing. It retained this name long after the breathing sounds became louder and always faster than I could fall asleep.
Well, there I was caught between chagrin that I had asked her out to something that put her asleep and something approach happiness that she felt comfortable enough to go to sleep on me. Worse, my arm was going to sleep from trying to maintain its position and not disturb her. She woke up on her own a little bit later after a crescendo.
I think I started falling in love with her on this date. Even if she wasn’t comfortable enough with me to have fallen asleep and it was simply because I put her in a situation that due to the lateness, the long day, and the soothing classical music anyone in their right mind would have dropped off, or worse she was bored, she accepted this date, however ridiculous, to be with me.
What sealed the deal was what happened when I dropped her off at her parents’ place, I kissed her, twice. It just felt like the right thing to do. It was a combination of her lips being so soft and the first kiss just seemed too short. After we were married, she commented on those first kisses, so it must have seemed right to her as well.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
The dinner was late because the only showing of the movie we agreed to see started at midnight. It was somewhat a cult showing, much like the Rocky Horror Picture Show" and an event like the "Sound of Music" would achieve later, except no one dressed up the parts. It was "Fantasia," the perfect combination culture, and, well, lack of culture. I hadn’t really thought it out but it was the perfect attempt to appeal to something of her interest, whatever that may have been. The classical music should have appealed to her sophistication and the cartoon should have appealed to her inner child.
As it was, late on a workday, a long day, actually into the next day, she fell asleep on me. I literally mean this in all ways. My arm was supporting her head. Even then she had a definite sleeping pattern to her breathing, not quite a snore, that I would forever name from that night on as sleep breathing. It retained this name long after the breathing sounds became louder and always faster than I could fall asleep.
Well, there I was caught between chagrin that I had asked her out to something that put her asleep and something approach happiness that she felt comfortable enough to go to sleep on me. Worse, my arm was going to sleep from trying to maintain its position and not disturb her. She woke up on her own a little bit later after a crescendo.
I think I started falling in love with her on this date. Even if she wasn’t comfortable enough with me to have fallen asleep and it was simply because I put her in a situation that due to the lateness, the long day, and the soothing classical music anyone in their right mind would have dropped off, or worse she was bored, she accepted this date, however ridiculous, to be with me.
What sealed the deal was what happened when I dropped her off at her parents’ place, I kissed her, twice. It just felt like the right thing to do. It was a combination of her lips being so soft and the first kiss just seemed too short. After we were married, she commented on those first kisses, so it must have seemed right to her as well.
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Michele Coxon's memories of Marilyn
Michele Coxon was Marilyn's manual lymph drainage massage therapist who brought Don Kellogg in to help. In my short speech to the International NLN Conference, where many of the attendees were therapists like Michele, I said this about Marilyn and Michele:
"The last smile I ever saw on my wife's face was when she last saw and thanked Michele Coxon, her manual lymph drainage massage therapist who had dropped in for just a visit."
Michele has extended her practice and now has a web presence as Stillpoint on the Coast. Her memory is immediately below:
Marilyn and I were "meant to be." She discovered me in a year old phone book she had laying around and I was more than happy to visit her home for treatments. The additional fact of being good friends with Don Kellog and bringing him on board to help her, feels like God was working through both of us to make this gift to her happen. There is no doubt in my mind that these events of synchronization are always choreographed by Source, by that Divine Spirit to which we surrender when working with the very ill, like Marilyn.
She was a conduit. She asked millions of questions, trusted me, and we had many wonderful conversations about life, health, living and dying. One day she was feeling too ill for treatment, so I sat by her bed and we just talked for an hour. It was healing for both of us.
I called her "The Captain" because she was still in control of her house and all that went on there from the bedroom. She delighted in looking out at her freshly landscaped back yard with all the lovely flowers in bloom during late summer and early fall and she poured over recipes to be made for meals that day for the family, not just for herself. I was a guest for dinner one night with her husband and sister and felt drawn into this family a little bit more and was grateful.
She mended her own garment one day and insisted on doing so. As I watched the intense focus of her mind on the threading of the needle, decision about how to proceed and the actual moving thread and needle into the fabric, it was with grace and assuredness that she completed the task, and beautifully, I might add.
My memories of Marilyn are never far from my heart and mind. I always told her that I received from her far more than I could ever give. Our last visit shortly before she died was understood by both of us to be the last and I am forever grateful that I was able to tell her how much I had grown to love her in those short four months that we worked together.
Marilyn is easy to love.
Michele Coxon
Lymphedema Therapist
Pacifica, CA
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
"The last smile I ever saw on my wife's face was when she last saw and thanked Michele Coxon, her manual lymph drainage massage therapist who had dropped in for just a visit."
Michele has extended her practice and now has a web presence as Stillpoint on the Coast. Her memory is immediately below:
Marilyn and I were "meant to be." She discovered me in a year old phone book she had laying around and I was more than happy to visit her home for treatments. The additional fact of being good friends with Don Kellog and bringing him on board to help her, feels like God was working through both of us to make this gift to her happen. There is no doubt in my mind that these events of synchronization are always choreographed by Source, by that Divine Spirit to which we surrender when working with the very ill, like Marilyn.
She was a conduit. She asked millions of questions, trusted me, and we had many wonderful conversations about life, health, living and dying. One day she was feeling too ill for treatment, so I sat by her bed and we just talked for an hour. It was healing for both of us.
I called her "The Captain" because she was still in control of her house and all that went on there from the bedroom. She delighted in looking out at her freshly landscaped back yard with all the lovely flowers in bloom during late summer and early fall and she poured over recipes to be made for meals that day for the family, not just for herself. I was a guest for dinner one night with her husband and sister and felt drawn into this family a little bit more and was grateful.
She mended her own garment one day and insisted on doing so. As I watched the intense focus of her mind on the threading of the needle, decision about how to proceed and the actual moving thread and needle into the fabric, it was with grace and assuredness that she completed the task, and beautifully, I might add.
My memories of Marilyn are never far from my heart and mind. I always told her that I received from her far more than I could ever give. Our last visit shortly before she died was understood by both of us to be the last and I am forever grateful that I was able to tell her how much I had grown to love her in those short four months that we worked together.
Marilyn is easy to love.
Michele Coxon
Lymphedema Therapist
Pacifica, CA
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
I meet Marilyn
I have yet to find a picture of Marilyn as I first met her. This one is of her in her college days, before I met her. Many of my entries will have pertinent pictures, but I didn't want to have this first "memory" not to have any.
It wasn’t long after I told my middle sister that I didn’t have any idea about how I was going to meet anyone, let alone someone special, that I walked into the local executive’s secretary’s office to get change for a vending machine and saw Marilyn. She was dressed in a black pantsuit with a white blouse and a black ribbon loosely tied in a bow as a tie. She was the one who actually gave me the change as she was being trained to temporarily replace the boss’ secretary the following week.
I don’t think I said more than thanks. This was not the “meeting,” this was just the first time in my life that I saw her. She obviously made an impression. The meeting happened a week later at the end of her temporary assignment.
I did something I rarely did and to my recollection never did after this time during my whole life with Marilyn, I went to an after work-socializing event. She was there. This time we talked. We talked the whole time we were there. I can’t remember what I said or what she said but I know I really liked what I heard. I was even more impressed when a friend of hers, who also worked at Xerox with me, couldn't pull her away. She gave Marilyn an out but Marilyn stayed talking with me.
Part of the reason for my faulty memory of the details is undoubtedly because we were drinking. It was a bar, well T. G. I. Friday’s, after all. I can’t remember what I was drinking but it was probably beer or something like rum and coke. I wasn't and still am not much of a drinker. She drank peppermint schnapps with beer chasers. Since we "met" in a bar, this made a good story whenever I could work it into the conversation, which often went like this: "How did you two meet?" "Marilyn and I met in a bar."
While our drinks were spread over a long time of talking, there was an effect. So much so that even though I did not get her phone number or address, I convinced her that she should allow me to follow her home to make sure she got there safely. She took off in her VW Beetle with me following behind in my 280Z. I followed her all the way to her parent’s house, watched her pull in, and drove on to my own apartment.
If she hadn’t come back to temp for another secretary, this time for a month, I would never been able to take it to the next step: actually dating.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Coming Soon, September 23, 2008 (Prologue)
I bought a blank leather bound journal for the memorial/open house for the attendees to write their happy memories of Marilyn. While others memories may find their way transcribed into this blog, so far I have made just one entry in it. I even carried it around for a month before I decided to do it this way, writing it out in a Word document. I started carrying it after a somewhat tearful conversation with my oldest daughter who pointed out that writing something would be a good way for Marilyn’s grandchildren yet to be born to get to know their grandmother.
My problem is all my happy memories end up being bitter sweet so I had a certain writer’s block to writing them in a “happy” memory book.
Another friend suggested that I start a blog, this one, as a way to write all these memories and potentially attract readers who could then help keep the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund, well, funded. While I was enamored with this idea, I didn’t want it to be a maudlin daily recounting of my current day filled with missing. But it does allow me to be more complete by not binding myself to only happy memories or excluding the bittersweet portions. (Read my description of asking her to marry me in a future posting.)
However, since I truly don’t know what I want to write when, I am writing individual items according to topic without strict regard to chronology. Other than this prologue, I will start posting individual topics starting September 23, 2008, ten days after my son's wedding.
Thus my compromise, I have decided to write a collection that I can edit and select from to put in this blog. The Word document can be a better form factor for eventually giving to my grandchildren so they can know of the grandmother they will never meet.
During the Tim Russert memorial it was mentioned that he consoled a friend who lost a son that if he had been offered the choice of 17 years with such a great person he would have jumped at it. I feel the same way about the 30 years I had with Marilyn. However, if I had known it would have only been 30 years I would have made a point of enjoying them more. As it is, I have many great memories.
Doyle Westbrook
Loving husband of Marilyn
As to the "why" of the blog:
As a result of cancer, surgery for cancer, conditions present at birth, specific lymphatic diseases, ... many people suffer from lymphedema. People who cannot afford to do anything but "live with it," and there are many, often hide away their impairment as it can be as disfiguring as it is debilitating. When Marilyn's cancer created lymphedema in her left leg so severe that she was bedridden, a living saving lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto Medtech, not only restored her mobility after wearing it for only a half day, it allowed her to attend her daughter's wedding, join her family and her daughter's new in-laws at the Thanksgiving table, and meet her son's fiancee's mother. It made the last few months of her life living months rather than just waiting for a death that would have come even sooner than it did had she not been truly living during them.
Even though there are amazing treatments available that can restore a measure of normalcy, due to about half the states not considering these treatments as medical devices and the insurance companies following suit, people are left to suffer in silence and frequently alone. In Marilyn's name and memory, this has become our cause. With Saskia Thiadens and the National Lymphedema Network, a special fund to help people who cannot otherwise afford these garments has been established, the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund.
If funding were to be left to my resources alone, it would be too little help and the memory of Marilyn far too short. Please use the links embedded in this posting to donate to this worthy cause. The National Lymphedema Network (NLN) is a 501 (c) 3 organization. Donations to the NLN, including those designated to the Marilyn Westbrook Fund, are fully tax deductible to the limits of your tax circumstances.
My problem is all my happy memories end up being bitter sweet so I had a certain writer’s block to writing them in a “happy” memory book.
Another friend suggested that I start a blog, this one, as a way to write all these memories and potentially attract readers who could then help keep the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund, well, funded. While I was enamored with this idea, I didn’t want it to be a maudlin daily recounting of my current day filled with missing. But it does allow me to be more complete by not binding myself to only happy memories or excluding the bittersweet portions. (Read my description of asking her to marry me in a future posting.)
However, since I truly don’t know what I want to write when, I am writing individual items according to topic without strict regard to chronology. Other than this prologue, I will start posting individual topics starting September 23, 2008, ten days after my son's wedding.
Thus my compromise, I have decided to write a collection that I can edit and select from to put in this blog. The Word document can be a better form factor for eventually giving to my grandchildren so they can know of the grandmother they will never meet.
During the Tim Russert memorial it was mentioned that he consoled a friend who lost a son that if he had been offered the choice of 17 years with such a great person he would have jumped at it. I feel the same way about the 30 years I had with Marilyn. However, if I had known it would have only been 30 years I would have made a point of enjoying them more. As it is, I have many great memories.
Doyle Westbrook
Loving husband of Marilyn
As to the "why" of the blog:
As a result of cancer, surgery for cancer, conditions present at birth, specific lymphatic diseases, ... many people suffer from lymphedema. People who cannot afford to do anything but "live with it," and there are many, often hide away their impairment as it can be as disfiguring as it is debilitating. When Marilyn's cancer created lymphedema in her left leg so severe that she was bedridden, a living saving lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto Medtech, not only restored her mobility after wearing it for only a half day, it allowed her to attend her daughter's wedding, join her family and her daughter's new in-laws at the Thanksgiving table, and meet her son's fiancee's mother. It made the last few months of her life living months rather than just waiting for a death that would have come even sooner than it did had she not been truly living during them.
Even though there are amazing treatments available that can restore a measure of normalcy, due to about half the states not considering these treatments as medical devices and the insurance companies following suit, people are left to suffer in silence and frequently alone. In Marilyn's name and memory, this has become our cause. With Saskia Thiadens and the National Lymphedema Network, a special fund to help people who cannot otherwise afford these garments has been established, the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund.
If funding were to be left to my resources alone, it would be too little help and the memory of Marilyn far too short. Please use the links embedded in this posting to donate to this worthy cause. The National Lymphedema Network (NLN) is a 501 (c) 3 organization. Donations to the NLN, including those designated to the Marilyn Westbrook Fund, are fully tax deductible to the limits of your tax circumstances.
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