When we moved to Houston, it was already well into a boom that had brought many “foreigners” into it. While not impossible, you often had to ask several times to find the native Texan and even more to find a native Houstonian. But just outside of Houston was a remnant of the real Texas, a weekly rodeo, the rodeo that Deng Xiao Peng had been to just the year before.
While still at the hotel, we decided to sample the “real” Texas. I don’t think rodeos were Marilyn’s cup of tea but going at least once just had to be done. (She never did express any interest in the Huntsville prison rodeo, or any other rodeo and to my knowledge never watched any rodeo on TV.)
It had all the aspects that I now associate with rodeos but from my understanding was like a minor league. Individuals would accumulate points that would allow them to qualify for the more prestigious rodeos. Maybe a better analogy would be NASCAR or qualifying for the U.S. Open in golf.
But the thing that made it an unforgettable experience was one of the filler dialogs between the announcer and the clown about the clown’s recent marriage.
Basically the announcer congratulated the clown on his marriage and commented that he had heard that the new wife was a nagger. The clown affected not to understand so the announcer repeated the statement. This went on for a couple exchanges with the announcer finally almost yelling that he had heard the wife was a great big nagger. To which the clown said: “No, a little white girl about so high,” while gesturing with his hand about chest high.
Needless to say, we, recently married, liberal, almost Easterners, were shocked. But the rest of Texas, including some of my work experiences, which will not be written here, were substantially better and far less shocking. Perhaps I was taking the wrong perspective. Maybe it was a statement of how far we had come that a Texan would simply respond and not be offended by what was the implied suggestion.
Coming in a few topics will be a Family Tradition topic, namely an initiation that I, Marilyn, and our children went through. I have great pictures but do not want to give the initiation away as my children are recently married with spouses who have yet to be initiated. It's all volunteer and everyone who has gone through it has had fun, just not as much fun as the observers. It's still a great way to join the family.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Is Pearl there?
This is really an apartment story although I don’t believe that we were unlucky to get the same phone number of the previous tenants. However, the phone calls when combined with the catalog deliveries make me think that something like that must have happened.
Soon after we got a phone every once in a while rather late into the evening, or night, we would get a call from an obviously inebriated man who in a slurred Texas drawl would ask, “Is Pearl there?” Now that doesn’t sound so bad and could have been some prankster writing on a bar’s bathroom wall, “For a good time, call Pearl [our new phone number].” The first few times we tried to tell this person he had the wrong number, which led to something that wasn’t exactly a conversation, certainly not a two-way exchange of information, but we learned quite a bit. While he never heard or believed us, if he did actually hear us, and I do mean us, he would talk with me as readily as Marilyn, he would want to come over. I think he thought I was Pearl’s pimp. I don’t believe he thought Marilyn was Pearl but she never said.
Now, getting a random call from a drunk who always asked for the same person and wanted to come over wouldn’t have been scary in and of itself because telephone numbers are seven digits and this guy couldn’t have known our address. But then there were the catalogs: “Frederick’s of Hollywood,” and other introductions to the marvelous world of sexy, well, kinky. (Although I did try to talk Marilyn into allowing me to buy a few items for her, which was hard to do while I was trying to convince her that I didn’t need to be titillated by a perverted catalog.) It took someone showing up at our door looking for a good time for us to put two and two together for a million. Could we have gotten the same phone number as the previous tenants? Was the guy calling for Pearl truly going to be able to show up? Was he one of the people who already had? If so, why did he keep calling?
We didn’t lose the Pearl calls until we moved into our house almost a year later. One of the great benefits of moving then was that we got a new phone number. We would have insisted on it if it weren’t automatic.
After the first time she answered the phone to the Pearl guy, I got the phone calls. We didn’t have an answering machine but Marilyn had an answering service. Since we were both working, I was home whenever she was.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Soon after we got a phone every once in a while rather late into the evening, or night, we would get a call from an obviously inebriated man who in a slurred Texas drawl would ask, “Is Pearl there?” Now that doesn’t sound so bad and could have been some prankster writing on a bar’s bathroom wall, “For a good time, call Pearl [our new phone number].” The first few times we tried to tell this person he had the wrong number, which led to something that wasn’t exactly a conversation, certainly not a two-way exchange of information, but we learned quite a bit. While he never heard or believed us, if he did actually hear us, and I do mean us, he would talk with me as readily as Marilyn, he would want to come over. I think he thought I was Pearl’s pimp. I don’t believe he thought Marilyn was Pearl but she never said.
Now, getting a random call from a drunk who always asked for the same person and wanted to come over wouldn’t have been scary in and of itself because telephone numbers are seven digits and this guy couldn’t have known our address. But then there were the catalogs: “Frederick’s of Hollywood,” and other introductions to the marvelous world of sexy, well, kinky. (Although I did try to talk Marilyn into allowing me to buy a few items for her, which was hard to do while I was trying to convince her that I didn’t need to be titillated by a perverted catalog.) It took someone showing up at our door looking for a good time for us to put two and two together for a million. Could we have gotten the same phone number as the previous tenants? Was the guy calling for Pearl truly going to be able to show up? Was he one of the people who already had? If so, why did he keep calling?
We didn’t lose the Pearl calls until we moved into our house almost a year later. One of the great benefits of moving then was that we got a new phone number. We would have insisted on it if it weren’t automatic.
After the first time she answered the phone to the Pearl guy, I got the phone calls. We didn’t have an answering machine but Marilyn had an answering service. Since we were both working, I was home whenever she was.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Our first (and only) Houston apartment
We had been living in hotels for three weeks but had finally found the “perfect” apartment. Well, we both knew it wasn’t perfect from the start but most of its imperfections took time to discover and are at least one, if not a few, topics of their own.
We had also been dining out at the best restaurants that a per diem would allow. It was our second honeymoon after all.
Well, we get that special apartment with the gold shag carpet, the narrow cul-de-sac galley kitchen, a breakfast nook for a dining room, bedrooms, two, whose windows looked out over the scenic parking lot, … You get the idea. The very first night we got the key, before the little bit of furniture we had could arrive, Marilyn just had to eat at our new place, a picnic on the carpet.
It wasn’t directly on the carpet but I forget what we put down to make it both feel like a picnic and our first meal in our new home. The food, of course, came from some restaurant but it had a much different feel. I remember the feeling but can’t for the life of me remember what we ate. It felt like another tumbler to the lock of our lives just clicked into place.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
We had also been dining out at the best restaurants that a per diem would allow. It was our second honeymoon after all.
Well, we get that special apartment with the gold shag carpet, the narrow cul-de-sac galley kitchen, a breakfast nook for a dining room, bedrooms, two, whose windows looked out over the scenic parking lot, … You get the idea. The very first night we got the key, before the little bit of furniture we had could arrive, Marilyn just had to eat at our new place, a picnic on the carpet.
It wasn’t directly on the carpet but I forget what we put down to make it both feel like a picnic and our first meal in our new home. The food, of course, came from some restaurant but it had a much different feel. I remember the feeling but can’t for the life of me remember what we ate. It felt like another tumbler to the lock of our lives just clicked into place.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Crazy New Houstonians, Going to Zero
There are probably a lot of stories that I will eventually think of but the one that will be told here is Marilyn’s compulsion to finish the move to our new city. This didn’t involve finding living space, although we had just two weeks to do that. It didn’t involve trying the local cuisine, although we were doing that to a certain extent. (Marilyn never did fully embrace the “Cajun” spicy food imported from Louisiana or the spicy equivalent in Tex/Mex. Indeed even the native barbeque was not her food of choice. There will be a lot of food discussion opportunities throughout many of these topics.) It does involve going to a landmark that many cities have but one that I would have never thought of in a million years, going to the zero-zero address.
I can’t even remember the names of the Houston cross-streets that formed this landmark. But Marilyn insisted that we visit it. We were lucky that this address at least was in the Office Building portion rather than the middle of a slum. We were unlucky in finding parking, even though this was a weekend, not because of the crush of cars, but rather the dearth of open parking lots. I don’t know how far we ended up walking but at one point in our walk Marilyn wanted to cross diagonally across an intersection. She knew that meant she had to cross two streets rather than just cross the intersection itself, there was at least that much traffic to keep us safe, but she unfortunately insisted on crossing the street that the traffic light allowed immediately. Now, I don’t know whether Houston has any other street, intersection, or crosswalk, like this anywhere else. I can’t remember whether this was a temporary condition or one of intentional design but there was nothing to cross to.
In fact, there were signs, there was a fence, and an obvious lane of pending traffic that would pass in the lane we would have to be standing in once we arrived across that street. While Marilyn and I often held hands on many of our walks, we weren’t then. She was halfway across the street before I even realized what she was doing. I couldn’t think of any words that would have gotten her to realize her error in time so I ran out and grabbed her arm. She made to shake it off and got a real “I’ll show them” look on her face when she finally heard me say, “We can’t cross here.”
I still had to point out the signs and the lack of anyplace to stand, safely, before she would move back to the sidewalk we had left. We did get back, obviously.
It was then I realized just how stubborn she was. While I never did use this example of her stubbornness, I knew that she was far more stubborn than I was or ever could be. She always won true tests of wills but we rarely had them on the important things.
There is a good side to stubbornness and Marilyn had it—determination to spare.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
I can’t even remember the names of the Houston cross-streets that formed this landmark. But Marilyn insisted that we visit it. We were lucky that this address at least was in the Office Building portion rather than the middle of a slum. We were unlucky in finding parking, even though this was a weekend, not because of the crush of cars, but rather the dearth of open parking lots. I don’t know how far we ended up walking but at one point in our walk Marilyn wanted to cross diagonally across an intersection. She knew that meant she had to cross two streets rather than just cross the intersection itself, there was at least that much traffic to keep us safe, but she unfortunately insisted on crossing the street that the traffic light allowed immediately. Now, I don’t know whether Houston has any other street, intersection, or crosswalk, like this anywhere else. I can’t remember whether this was a temporary condition or one of intentional design but there was nothing to cross to.
In fact, there were signs, there was a fence, and an obvious lane of pending traffic that would pass in the lane we would have to be standing in once we arrived across that street. While Marilyn and I often held hands on many of our walks, we weren’t then. She was halfway across the street before I even realized what she was doing. I couldn’t think of any words that would have gotten her to realize her error in time so I ran out and grabbed her arm. She made to shake it off and got a real “I’ll show them” look on her face when she finally heard me say, “We can’t cross here.”
I still had to point out the signs and the lack of anyplace to stand, safely, before she would move back to the sidewalk we had left. We did get back, obviously.
It was then I realized just how stubborn she was. While I never did use this example of her stubbornness, I knew that she was far more stubborn than I was or ever could be. She always won true tests of wills but we rarely had them on the important things.
There is a good side to stubbornness and Marilyn had it—determination to spare.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Traveling to a new job, our second honeymoon
While I didn’t have a single interview until much later in Phoenix, covered in another topic, the attempt put my resume’ on the market and corporations in Houston were hiring. (The interview and associated stories are not part of my memories of Marilyn so if covered at all will have to be in a different forum.) Since Houston was on the way to Phoenix we decided to take the job. So the middle of February saw us on the road, again traveling to our married life in a new city.
I would like to be able to say that we gave each other longing gazes, and sweet-talked the entire trip but what actually occurred is that we drove two cars. There being two of us, and two cars, meant that we couldn’t even see each other when we were “on the road” but we made up for it most of the time when we stopped.
And stop we did. We made side trips to several places. I’ve selected a few of the more memorable for greater detail below. Since I wasn’t then and haven’t kept a journal what I’m leaving out may not be all that much but you wouldn’t know that if I didn’t tell you.
In Tennessee we discovered that Jack Daniels was distilled in a dry county. But they did let us smell the well alcohol laden vent gasses in our tour.
We stayed overnight in Nashville with a visit to the Grand Ol Opry.
Our next overnight stay was in the bad side, well the less affluent side of Birmingham. We would remark on this as our first of a trend later when we knew it for a trend. Many of the places we visited inevitably involved some tour of the more scenic side of the town, a nice looking road would be a dead end into the area dump or sewage treatment plant. Although to the best of my recall we never again tried to sleep in the scenic area.
Then came New Orleans. We stayed there several nights. While a lot of what we did involved truly good food, including the beans and rice at Hobo Billy’s and Bananas Foster at Brennan’s, we also visited Preservation Hall (I didn’t understand why anyone would want to preserve the hall but preserving the jazz was great.), walked on the waterfront, looked in on all the bars, watched people, took a ride on the Charles Street trolley, had our faces immortalized with a characterization (My upwardly growing eyebrows were made into devilish horns that was obvious as to the devilment in mind while Marilyn was characterized as an angel.), and my first introduction into shopping.
Up until that time, I had always thought that the purpose of shopping was to find something you wanted to buy. Marilyn nicely limited her introduction of shopping as an end in itself so I didn’t drop but I got the message. It was much later, and may make a separate topic in and of itself, that I heard the dreaded combination: “Since we are here, do you mind if I go in [to this store]?” and “Why don’t you come in and keep me company?”
Finally we made it to Houston and for two weeks were put up in a hotel at the Greenway Plaza. The fun we had living within walking distance of my work…
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
I would like to be able to say that we gave each other longing gazes, and sweet-talked the entire trip but what actually occurred is that we drove two cars. There being two of us, and two cars, meant that we couldn’t even see each other when we were “on the road” but we made up for it most of the time when we stopped.
And stop we did. We made side trips to several places. I’ve selected a few of the more memorable for greater detail below. Since I wasn’t then and haven’t kept a journal what I’m leaving out may not be all that much but you wouldn’t know that if I didn’t tell you.
In Tennessee we discovered that Jack Daniels was distilled in a dry county. But they did let us smell the well alcohol laden vent gasses in our tour.
We stayed overnight in Nashville with a visit to the Grand Ol Opry.
Our next overnight stay was in the bad side, well the less affluent side of Birmingham. We would remark on this as our first of a trend later when we knew it for a trend. Many of the places we visited inevitably involved some tour of the more scenic side of the town, a nice looking road would be a dead end into the area dump or sewage treatment plant. Although to the best of my recall we never again tried to sleep in the scenic area.
Then came New Orleans. We stayed there several nights. While a lot of what we did involved truly good food, including the beans and rice at Hobo Billy’s and Bananas Foster at Brennan’s, we also visited Preservation Hall (I didn’t understand why anyone would want to preserve the hall but preserving the jazz was great.), walked on the waterfront, looked in on all the bars, watched people, took a ride on the Charles Street trolley, had our faces immortalized with a characterization (My upwardly growing eyebrows were made into devilish horns that was obvious as to the devilment in mind while Marilyn was characterized as an angel.), and my first introduction into shopping.
Up until that time, I had always thought that the purpose of shopping was to find something you wanted to buy. Marilyn nicely limited her introduction of shopping as an end in itself so I didn’t drop but I got the message. It was much later, and may make a separate topic in and of itself, that I heard the dreaded combination: “Since we are here, do you mind if I go in [to this store]?” and “Why don’t you come in and keep me company?”
Finally we made it to Houston and for two weeks were put up in a hotel at the Greenway Plaza. The fun we had living within walking distance of my work…
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
The Ceremony, Wedding Night, and Reception
All of our Granville Inn plans, well most of them, were undone by the weather. One of our claims to fame is making the most out of a bad situation. Now I describe it in a headline format: “State Shuts Down for Monnett-Westbrook Wedding.” It wasn’t that hard for me, my only consequences beyond it being cold, were calling the Granville Inn, getting them to agree to a reception only event a week later at no deposit cost, and not having my side of the family, parents nor sisters, at our ceremony.
The state, Ohio, was shut down for three days because of the blizzard of ’78 and not because of our wedding. We decided to go ahead and get married as scheduled even though it had to be at a completely different venue, one we could violate the no non-essential travel rule to get to without likely arrest. That venue happened to be Marilyn’s parent’s place as it had the largest contingent of attendees, including Marilyn, already there. I didn’t have to do anything to get it prepared and so cannot fully appreciate or describe the scramble they must have gone through. All I had to do was just show up and that is about the extent of my memory as well. I was and still am walking on air.
Thank goodness we have some poor quality pictures to remind me. They even scrambled together a multilayer wedding cake. This allowed us to practice our cake smashing for the official reception, with my family in attendance, the week later. We needed the practice. We both had too small of pieces and were far too polite, not only out of concern for each other but also where the crumbs would have gone, on her mother’s light carpet. 
(Marilyn let me be dainty with my second piece at the Granville Inn the week later before she fully crammed her oversized piece onto my face only partially hitting my large mouth. Since I am writing this I can exaggerate, regardless of how little.)
After the ceremony and after sharing cake and drinks with the guests who could make it, we got ready for our wedding night. You have to remember that a blizzard is snow and wind accompanied with a rapid drop in temperature to fully appreciate our wedding night. 
First, Marilyn dressed for the weather in fancy red underwear, long johns, and we went to a local Marriott rather than my cold apartment. (There were actual icicles inside the apartment.) It turned out that Marriott didn’t have the icicle problem because they kept the humidity down by reducing the interior temperature to close to freezing. This also meant that whatever food they served in their restaurant arrived cold regardless of how high they heated it to achieve the partial cooking.
But we didn’t care. We were married. And whatever else the cold weather may have ruined, it didn’t ruin our night. Let me just say that it was great cuddling weather.Our party at the official reception was too small to reserve the entire restaurant but I truly don’t remember if there were any other diners. Marilyn and I certainly felt like we had just gotten married. Our “honeymoon” period wouldn’t end for quite a while, if indeed it ever did, but definitely wasn’t over in just one week. The nicest thing about being married was that now if she fell asleep on me, I didn’t have to wake her up so she could go back to her place. Her place was now my place. I always enjoyed watching her sleep but probably not as much as she enjoyed sleeping. (But, I digress.)
In addition to not remembering other diners, I don’t remember what we ate besides the cake for dessert. That was good so we saved the top to be consumed on our first anniversary, also the subject of another topic.---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Monday, October 13, 2008
The Whirlwind to get Married
Once we decided to get married, we wanted to do it as quickly as possible but not the fastest way by eloping. But we had other mundane things to take care of like an engagement ring, wedding bands, a blood test, a venue, a minister, … and we wanted it all done by January 14th. (Since our anniversary is on January 28th, you know that it took almost twice as long as we had hoped.)
Some things happened quickly. She fell in love with a unique engagement ring designed for a Diamond Cellar employee in Columbus, called the Betty. So my shopping style combined with her amazingly fast agreement settled that quickly.
The blood test was another trial. I don’t think that they even do it any more. But they did for us. It turned out that Marilyn couldn’t stand the sight of needles, well needles entering her. She was fine watching the needle draw my blood.
It was probably the venue that drove the date more than anything else. I don’t know how we found it or knew of it, but the Granville Inn had a perfect long room with an organ and adjacent restaurant with a chef who specialized in wedding cakes. The earliest this could come together was the 28th.
The only problem, which turned out for other reasons not to be a problem because of a much larger one, was Marilyn’s choice of music. After not really paying attention to music that I didn’t create, vocally, for much of my youth, I really fell in love with the Beatles. Marilyn wanted “Feelings” and “Yesterday” played at our wedding. After our talk, which included me saying such things as: “I think they are too sad.” “Have you ever really listened to the words?” And the real killer, “Do you still have feelings for Jim?” She told me that she just liked the music and wasn’t trying to convey any message. I liked the music too but was still concerned about the implied message. If she hadn't asked about those songs by name in my presence, I don't think I would have noticed the music on the day.
It all became moot as our best-laid plans were about to be laid low by the weather.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Some things happened quickly. She fell in love with a unique engagement ring designed for a Diamond Cellar employee in Columbus, called the Betty. So my shopping style combined with her amazingly fast agreement settled that quickly.
The blood test was another trial. I don’t think that they even do it any more. But they did for us. It turned out that Marilyn couldn’t stand the sight of needles, well needles entering her. She was fine watching the needle draw my blood.
It was probably the venue that drove the date more than anything else. I don’t know how we found it or knew of it, but the Granville Inn had a perfect long room with an organ and adjacent restaurant with a chef who specialized in wedding cakes. The earliest this could come together was the 28th.
The only problem, which turned out for other reasons not to be a problem because of a much larger one, was Marilyn’s choice of music. After not really paying attention to music that I didn’t create, vocally, for much of my youth, I really fell in love with the Beatles. Marilyn wanted “Feelings” and “Yesterday” played at our wedding. After our talk, which included me saying such things as: “I think they are too sad.” “Have you ever really listened to the words?” And the real killer, “Do you still have feelings for Jim?” She told me that she just liked the music and wasn’t trying to convey any message. I liked the music too but was still concerned about the implied message. If she hadn't asked about those songs by name in my presence, I don't think I would have noticed the music on the day.
It all became moot as our best-laid plans were about to be laid low by the weather.
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Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Our first Christmas, where she accepts
After the fantastic adventure vacation, I thought visiting my family for Christmas would be anti-climatic but in many ways was more stressful, not because of my family but because of my gift. 
It had to be something she would like and since she hadn’t said yes, it couldn’t be too intimate, besides, I had already treated her to some Indian jewelry while in Arizona. Eventually I settled on high quality copper clad cookware. I can’t remember whether there was only the omelet pan and the skillet but I know the wok came later. I did give her mother some jewelry, which Marilyn didn’t know about until after she said yes but was a good back up plan, even though it wasn’t planned.
I was sensitive to at least one aspect of putting my best foot forward, I didn’t take her in the back way like my Mother did to my Father the first time he met her parents. I don’t know whether my Mother had already said yes or whether my Father had even asked yet but I knew Marilyn was a city gal and would probably not be impressed by an extra 30 miles or so of winding mostly dirt roads. It would have made the farm that much further into the wilderness. Besides, the mile lane with a portion through the creek was wild enough.
Needless to say, Marilyn fit right in. She even held my oldest sister’s first born without too much of the deer-in-the-headlight look.
It wasn’t until she was driving the two of us away that she finally said yes. My memory of whatever was said before the yes is gone. She said, “Yes!” She claimed that she wasn’t sure I asked her the first time and wasn’t going to give me an answer anyway until she had met my family. If I had known that this was the condition I would have been even more stressed.
One of the highlights of my parents' place was and is the food. I was thinner then because I was living on love.
The reason Marilyn was driving, I found out on the way to my parents that she suffered from motion sickness that is aggravated by being a passenger and alleviated by the focus allowed by driving. Letting her drive my 280Z was probably the icing on the cake to getting the right answer but I really didn’t do it for that reason. After we were married, I let her drive it quite often for other reasons, but those are other stories.
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
It had to be something she would like and since she hadn’t said yes, it couldn’t be too intimate, besides, I had already treated her to some Indian jewelry while in Arizona. Eventually I settled on high quality copper clad cookware. I can’t remember whether there was only the omelet pan and the skillet but I know the wok came later. I did give her mother some jewelry, which Marilyn didn’t know about until after she said yes but was a good back up plan, even though it wasn’t planned.I was sensitive to at least one aspect of putting my best foot forward, I didn’t take her in the back way like my Mother did to my Father the first time he met her parents. I don’t know whether my Mother had already said yes or whether my Father had even asked yet but I knew Marilyn was a city gal and would probably not be impressed by an extra 30 miles or so of winding mostly dirt roads. It would have made the farm that much further into the wilderness. Besides, the mile lane with a portion through the creek was wild enough.
Needless to say, Marilyn fit right in. She even held my oldest sister’s first born without too much of the deer-in-the-headlight look. It wasn’t until she was driving the two of us away that she finally said yes. My memory of whatever was said before the yes is gone. She said, “Yes!” She claimed that she wasn’t sure I asked her the first time and wasn’t going to give me an answer anyway until she had met my family. If I had known that this was the condition I would have been even more stressed.
One of the highlights of my parents' place was and is the food. I was thinner then because I was living on love.The reason Marilyn was driving, I found out on the way to my parents that she suffered from motion sickness that is aggravated by being a passenger and alleviated by the focus allowed by driving. Letting her drive my 280Z was probably the icing on the cake to getting the right answer but I really didn’t do it for that reason. After we were married, I let her drive it quite often for other reasons, but those are other stories.
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Pre-wedding honeymoon: Adventures
Marilyn loved Phoenix. She took me to parks, desert museums, … , any and everything outdoors. We went over to the Lost Dutchman Mine Mountains. We hiked up Squaw Peak. While there, I went up on top of a rock that actually looked to be the highpoint, the peak, and she took my picture. When I offered to return the favor, she declined saying that such places were not for her.Imagine my surprise when at the Grand Canyon, a place that at that time had no fences and the edge gave me vertigo, she went right out to the edge and looked down.
Our big adventure at the Grand Canyon was the one day, all day mule ride about two thirds of the down and back. Marilyn rode Shirley and I rode Shug. Now, these mules cannot be ridden side by side. They each had their special place in the long line with mine more toward the rear and Marilyn’s closer to the front. Furthermore, mule’s feet are not hard like a horse’s so every one of them walked on the softest part of the trail, the part with the most easily displaced soil, the outside edge. While I saw people leaning back toward the cliff side and people sitting very still and straight, I didn’t see anyone leaning out to look down, probably because you didn’t have to 
do so to actually see the bottom some thousands of feet below the edge your mule was on. Once we got down off the cliff onto the flatter stretch of trail another unique mule trait was on display: They all stopped one at a time at the same place and went to the bathroom. This led to a bottleneck that backed up the line and created gaps between mules that lasted until we stopped. Of course no mule would walk any faster to close the gap. They each knew where they were going and didn’t see any reason to use any more energy than they had to to get there.One final mule story: A couple of the mules had diarrhea.
This resulted in a green stream that shot out several feet behind them. When I first saw this I was grateful that I was at least two mules back from the problem mule and then I thought to check and make sure that Marilyn’s mule was also properly placed. I didn’t want this adventure to turn out to be a “shitty” one. That wouldn’t have helped the long-term plans that I was just forming.Our drive to Crested Butte and skiing was adventure free. (The return trip wasn’t, but I’ll get into that later.)
This was my first time skiing so while Marilyn got individual intermediate instruction I joined the group of mostly small kids and learned how to fall and get back up. We did it enough that I was sore and exhausted and wondering whether or not this skiing thing was truly fun. When I was finally released from the training and we went out on nothing more dangerous than intermediate, I was glad for the lessons because I certainly put them to good use. Even Marilyn fell a couple of times but mostly she was waiting for me down the slope. Once when I caught up to her we both waited as my large knit cap, made overly large by the massive amounts of water it had absorbed from earlier falls, fell off well up slope. A nice skier, who didn’t fall, stopped precisely at the hat and easily brought it to me, nicely but unthreateningly showing me up.It was on the last day on the very last run that I fell in love with skiing. We had already decided to go down the longer beginner slope for our last run. With the snow, it turned into a paradise. By this time I was parallel skiing and the limited visibility actually improved my technique because I wasn’t thinking about not falling, I was just enjoying. Of course, watching Marilyn skiing right in front of me was a great view, a great incentive, and most likely the primary source of my enjoyment.
The drive back to Phoenix began that very day. Remember we were a couple hundred miles further away than we had originally planned to be plus it was snowing. So, at the outset of our return I bought chains for the rental car in Gunnison. We discovered later that we were the last car to make it up the Million Dollar Highway before they closed the gates due to treacherous winds and snow. With our chains and a prudent speed we not only made it up the mountain slope but over the black ice that occurred later on a thankfully straight stretch of road. Did I mention that by this time it was full dark?---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Pre-wedding honeymoon: Dining (where I ask her to marry me)
After a number of dates consisting mostly of dining and drinking, the opportunities for special things to do in Columbus Ohio were limited, I decided to create that special opportunity. She had already confided to me that this time in Columbus was just a stop over for her true destination of Phoenix. So I talked her into joining me for a grand vacation whose first portion would be job hunting in Phoenix.
While I also put my “resume” on the market, Marilyn was the only one who had any actual interviews. After a couple days of that, the real vacation portion began, which is really an unfair characterization. Marilyn took me all over Phoenix. 
We visited desert museums, Frank Lloyd Wright houses, and even hiked up 
Squaw Peak.
We had reservations at the Grand Canyon and at Purgatory, a ski resort in Southwestern Colorado, and we did some fantastic things, which I will get to in another entry, but even here a lot of my memories are of our dining (and drinking). They were special.
The first special place was at L’Orangerie, The Orange Room, at the Arizona Biltmore. While I didn’t realize it at the time, her menu didn’t have any prices. (Later I would learn how great this actually was as she always took special care to be “reasonable.”) While the food was good, the highlight of the evening was the after dinner drink, a brandy laced coffee that the server flamed and poured between cups that were at least three feet apart without spilling a drop. We didn’t know how it would be served. We were just intrigued by the name, Café Xocatilla. We also went to the top of the Hyatt and rotated around showing a cityscape that could actually be seen as the typical high-rise construction hadn’t yet blocked the views.
At the Grand Canyon we had such great service that we both remembered the server’s name, George. It was here that we both ate snails for the first time. Marilyn discreetly pointed out that Escargot was snail just so I didn’t embarrass myself when they came out. And, they did come out in their shells so hot that we needed the little snail tongs and little snail fork and lots of cooling before we could eat them, at least the second one did. The best thing about orders of snails are that they come they have more butter than snail. (The snails were a compromise to avoid oysters, particularly raw oysters. They came later and are part of another story.)
On the way to skiing, after the Grand Canyon, we stopped at a roadside diner. Marilyn hadn’t gotten to the stage of “I’ll just have some of yours,” and we were both pretty hungry so we ordered two of what we thought was a taco, one for each of us. The waiter asked us if we were sure and we should have taken that for the clue it was. What came out wasn’t two tacos but rather two piled high 10-inch pizzas. Needless to say we didn’t eat all of it, in fact, we ate no more than half of each. Since we were on the road, we didn’t even take a doggy bag.
The ski resort where we had reservations didn’t have snow so we were able to make reservations at Crested Butte, half a state away by crow and further by roads that had to skirt mountains. But if this hadn’t happened, we would have missed two other great dining experiences and maybe a proposal. (The ski resort didn’t return my deposit.)
On the way to Crested Butte we passed through several great little towns. One, either Ouray or Silverton only had one place to eat but that eating was, again, memorable. The trout we both ordered was perfectly done and tasted great, however, Marilyn sent hers back for some surgery. Both of them came out with their heads left on. Marilyn didn’t mind my fish staring at me, but refused to eat something she felt was staring at her.
Then finally in Crested Butte, we ate at the Alpen Haus, more than once. Not only was the food good, but also this early in the ski season there weren’t that many other options. Of course, after the first time, we didn’t want to risk finding something worse. It was the second time dining there that I “popped” the question. Maybe I wasn’t as clear as I should have been or maybe it was the two bottles of wine, but not only did she not say yes, not only did she not say no, and not only did she not say maybe or I’ll think about it or ask me if I had truly just asked her to marry me, she didn’t say anything. In point of fact I don’t remember using the exact words, “Will you marry me?” but I do remember telling her that I couldn’t see spending the rest of my life with anyone but her. I didn’t press because at least it wasn’t “no.” (She obviously did answer eventually, but that is also another story.)
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
While I also put my “resume” on the market, Marilyn was the only one who had any actual interviews. After a couple days of that, the real vacation portion began, which is really an unfair characterization. Marilyn took me all over Phoenix. 
We visited desert museums, Frank Lloyd Wright houses, and even hiked up 
Squaw Peak.We had reservations at the Grand Canyon and at Purgatory, a ski resort in Southwestern Colorado, and we did some fantastic things, which I will get to in another entry, but even here a lot of my memories are of our dining (and drinking). They were special.
The first special place was at L’Orangerie, The Orange Room, at the Arizona Biltmore. While I didn’t realize it at the time, her menu didn’t have any prices. (Later I would learn how great this actually was as she always took special care to be “reasonable.”) While the food was good, the highlight of the evening was the after dinner drink, a brandy laced coffee that the server flamed and poured between cups that were at least three feet apart without spilling a drop. We didn’t know how it would be served. We were just intrigued by the name, Café Xocatilla. We also went to the top of the Hyatt and rotated around showing a cityscape that could actually be seen as the typical high-rise construction hadn’t yet blocked the views.
At the Grand Canyon we had such great service that we both remembered the server’s name, George. It was here that we both ate snails for the first time. Marilyn discreetly pointed out that Escargot was snail just so I didn’t embarrass myself when they came out. And, they did come out in their shells so hot that we needed the little snail tongs and little snail fork and lots of cooling before we could eat them, at least the second one did. The best thing about orders of snails are that they come they have more butter than snail. (The snails were a compromise to avoid oysters, particularly raw oysters. They came later and are part of another story.)
On the way to skiing, after the Grand Canyon, we stopped at a roadside diner. Marilyn hadn’t gotten to the stage of “I’ll just have some of yours,” and we were both pretty hungry so we ordered two of what we thought was a taco, one for each of us. The waiter asked us if we were sure and we should have taken that for the clue it was. What came out wasn’t two tacos but rather two piled high 10-inch pizzas. Needless to say we didn’t eat all of it, in fact, we ate no more than half of each. Since we were on the road, we didn’t even take a doggy bag.
The ski resort where we had reservations didn’t have snow so we were able to make reservations at Crested Butte, half a state away by crow and further by roads that had to skirt mountains. But if this hadn’t happened, we would have missed two other great dining experiences and maybe a proposal. (The ski resort didn’t return my deposit.)
On the way to Crested Butte we passed through several great little towns. One, either Ouray or Silverton only had one place to eat but that eating was, again, memorable. The trout we both ordered was perfectly done and tasted great, however, Marilyn sent hers back for some surgery. Both of them came out with their heads left on. Marilyn didn’t mind my fish staring at me, but refused to eat something she felt was staring at her.
Then finally in Crested Butte, we ate at the Alpen Haus, more than once. Not only was the food good, but also this early in the ski season there weren’t that many other options. Of course, after the first time, we didn’t want to risk finding something worse. It was the second time dining there that I “popped” the question. Maybe I wasn’t as clear as I should have been or maybe it was the two bottles of wine, but not only did she not say yes, not only did she not say no, and not only did she not say maybe or I’ll think about it or ask me if I had truly just asked her to marry me, she didn’t say anything. In point of fact I don’t remember using the exact words, “Will you marry me?” but I do remember telling her that I couldn’t see spending the rest of my life with anyone but her. I didn’t press because at least it wasn’t “no.” (She obviously did answer eventually, but that is also another story.)
---------
Marilyn lost her life to cancer but was able to truly "live" until the very end due to a lymphedema garment from Don Kellogg, inventor and founder of Telesto-Medtech. It is due to the "living" he provided Marilyn and through his suggestion and connection with Saskia Thiadens of the National Lymphedema Network that the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund exists. It needs other people's help to remain a living memorial of Marilyn. Please help other people receive the gift of living by donating to the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. Thank you.
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